O simple thing...where have you gone?
Roo, Doing that thing U do....
As I woke up this morning at about 0255hrs, I switched on the TV to a stratling score. 3-0 to Man U. And it was only about half an hour into the match. And guess who scored, Wayne Rooney, the mercurial 18-year-old, twice in the space of the first half hour. Brilliant. It was 3-0 at half-time and i decided to switch channels, only to find out I missed out on a Fernebache goal a minute into the second half. I was beginning to get the feeling I wasn't meant to catch the match. Nonetheless soon enough Rooney struck again with a brilliant free-kick. I was surprised his older, more-experienced team-mates allowed him the luxury, especially since Giggsy had been taking free kicks since Becks went. Just goes to show the confidence they have in his abilities.....
Final score: Man U 6 Fernebache 2
Wayne Rooney Hat-trick
And as he walked off, wearing a Fernebache jersey the wrong way round, it sank into me, this guy, was after all still a kid. And there he was, standing on the greatest stage on earth, The Theatre of Dreams.
Is it worth it?
Today I questioned myself if everything I was doing, the aims that I wanted to reach, the energy I put in into stuff was it all worth it? Have you ever asked yourself dat? Is it worth it to keep your spirits up and keep doing your best, keep trying to overachieve, keep trying to jump across a bottomless pit, trying to reach a greener pasture, yet knowing the slightest doubt will leave u plummeting to the bottom...Is it worth it going through the whole range of emotions daily, trying to grapple wif your inner demons, when...at the end of the day, the very reason you do all dat for lets you down. I dunno, I always tell myself its worth it, but some times, i just force myself to believe in it. Its rather confusing at times....oh well...i think I just confused myself further...
I guess the impt thing is at the end of the day, to be happy.
But the skewed strange thing is, if you havent already noticed....dat the only way u can be happy, is for the ppl around you, the people you care for to be happy.
I guess Priya was right when she was talking about it, and I can empathise with her fully. It takes a whole lot of courage to do what u want, and not what others want of u. It really takes a hell lot of courage man....which I must honestly say I do not possess at the moment.
Pri, its def easier said than done babe. You're right.
O simple thing, where have u gone?
I'm getting older I need something to rely on.
Out.
Loving you is a job I WILL need....
The Terminal
Uni came over at ten today, and slept all the way till bout one. Poor girl, she must be realli tired over the course of the last few days. BTW, if you guys don't already know, her uncle passed away bout a day after the last post, and she was all distraught and stuff. Her late uncle had
six daughters, and his wife wasn't working also. Sigh, the trials and tribulations of life. Its at times like these dat
I feel like a real bitch for complainin about my own life.
Anyways, after her long sleep, me and Uni headed over to the airport. We ended up eating at Traditional Islamic some North Indian food court, and the food was realli good too! We then headed over to the viewing gallery and UNi got started wif her Stats work. Bleargh. I read the Newpaper inside out, and when I was bored started fiddling with Uni's laptop, only to find out it did not contain a single game on it.
Yes, not even solitaire.
Anyways after a while, I got bored wif the laptip and decided to just doze off as she finished up wif her work. It was about 1730 when she was done, and I sent her back to her place. Sounds like a realli mundane, ordinary date right? It wasn't actually and yet again I learnt something new about love and relationship.
Even the most ordinary of times can be the best of times. Most definitely, I could be wif any other person, be doing the same thing, and be dead-bored, but wif uni its different. So, if you wanna noe if the person's for u, just keep this in mind. Do take note that its just my thoughts and may be totally wrong so heed my advice at your own risk!
Prelims
Today my bro got his prelims back and hes quite happy that he got 7 points before moderation, which is well, hell of a lot better than my 14-before-moderation back when i was in sec 4. But sadly enough(well at least for me), is the fact that he will prob not take the jump to VJ, and want to stay in the "raffles family". Oh well, to each his own, I guess his experience in RI has been enriching enough for him to decide to stay on, which is not what I can say for myself.
Anyways, today is the start of the new season of America's Next Top Model Season 2. Will be looking fwd to dat. Phil has also been complainin bout the tics for Singapore Idol, and how they werent obtained, which spoiled all the "plannin". Sorry dude. Sometimes its good to not get too close to the ppl around you, cos you dont wanna be so affected by their emotions and reactions. As I always say...
Friendships of convenience.
Dont get me wrong Im not a manipulator, but well Im a chooser and picker if theres such a term, cos u gotta find the ppl who got your back b4 you get theirs...
Anyways on a lighter not, let me leave you wif these damn cool pics, and you draw your own conclusion.
Somebody's gonna need a cold shower.
Alright guys, dats all man, sorry again please dont be offended, all in the name of fun...no?
Pictures courtesy of funnyjunk.com
Out.
Even the impossible, is easy when we've got each other
What a week!
This has been a hell of a wekk for me cos of one thing, IPPT!!! Oh man what a burden it has been on me since Ive come into division but finally now, after all those runs at Bedok Reservoir, Tanah Merah, Simei and of course the punishing boredom of the gym treadmill, me an phil-the-man have finally done it.
IPPT Gold.
And of course more importantly,
200 bucks.
So at the risk of blowing my own trumpet/horn/bugle, heres the lowdown on the IPPT.
Sit-ups
Did 45 and stopped, was pretty ok lar thankfully, though the pavement was hard.
Shuttle run.
Knowing my bad history on this, I was a bit nervous. Thankfully though, the floor had so much more friction and it was easier to run. 9.0 secs. Satisfied and my spirits were up!
Standing Broad Jump
Now this was the big one, I had not cleared the 'B' mark very well the past few days, and had been practising like crazy the past few days. I remember even doing bout an hour plus of SBJs outside my house on a tuesday. As i made the jump yest, i realli felt god was wif me man, it was surreal to say the least. 244cm. A!
Pull-ups
The bar was thin and rough enough to grip on. Did 12 for an A and got down.
2.4 km.
Now this was the big one. Ran with Phil in a dry-run on wed and ran 10:40 so I was realli nervous for myself. I started off well, breaking away at the very start of the race. Towards the end I was tiring out and it was getting at my legs, soon enough I was overtaken by an IO(Investigating Officer) Tan Lee Teck, a little demoralised but carried on. At the finish it was me and phil, 2nd and 3rd. 9 minutes 30 Secs...at this point I really have to give my props to Tan Lee Teck. 39 years old! and he prob clocked bout 9:20. Incredible shit I tell u.
So dats the story of the IPPT. What a week, and well as Imenitoned earlier, hard work does eventually pay off. We went for aN HTES walk-a-jog later dat day,but walked away soon enough since it was rather boring. Haha, right now Im in a good mood, things are looking up, and thankfully I feel that Im gettin closer to God, with whom none of the above would have been possible...(man I sound like Jerry ong)
Singapore Idol Unsung Heroes
Sorry guys this was the only pic I could get from the unsung heroes show, stupid Singapore Idol website.
What a show! Twas a realli great night I think, I was particularly impressed with jocelyn yeo,(the strange looking girl in pink at the auditions) and of course Mr "careless whispers". Of cos there was my man Sadli!!!He is simply a work of art man. His rendition of solitaire would have easily gotten him into the final 12, and of cos give some representation to the Malay community. Haha, but anyways things always have a strange way of working out eventually and for Sadli I think it will.
But the moment of the night belonged to Albert Soh and Lily Yeo, whose rendition of "Music of my heart" was realli incredible. My only qualm was why they were given only 2 lines each?!!?! Then suddenly Gurmit, Sadli and the other Malay girl burst in and drowned out their voices...
Nonetheless its at moments like those when I feel that as long as you have the heart to make it you will. Of course the world is more complicated than that but well, you gotta hold on to something right?
Anyways the coming week is a short one. took monday and half of tuesday off. right now am in the midst of practising for the SPANS karaoke competition. Will prob be singing "it might be you" not cos' there aint any better song but dats one of the few songs there are on karaoke.
Oh well, Cecil will be coming today, so I'm looking forward to dat man. Dats all there is so far. Uni's uncle is in a bad way now cos of long cancer so if you read this just say a little prayer in your heart k? And rem dat life is much too short, so make it count.
Out.
When a Hero Comes Along( a tribute to Rio)
I woke up this morning without my 6600 buzzing in my ear. I actually automatically woke up at 0300hrs by myself! Perhaps it was a sign on things to come, since its been a while since I woke up in the wee hours without an alarm. Anywayz I trudged out, brought my laptop, signed on MSN, and switched on the TV.
Manchester United vs Liverpool @ Old Trafford
The games was only bout two minutes old and it was clear Man U was dominating. Surprisingly, or not surprisingly rather, Pri was online, prob stuck wif work or something. Ben was on too, prob watching the match. I had hoped that Mel would be on, but knowing the inadequate internet facilities at leicester uni, it would prob be a while before I catch her online. Anyways man u dominated most of the match and as I told everybody Man U by a goal. Thanx to some bullet-like headers from silvestre, man u took one step to hauling themselves back up the table. I told myself at half-time dat if man u lost this match their season would be over, after just 6 matches. 2-1 final score.
Anyways I was realli impressed with Rio Ferdinand's performance. As the commentator mentioned, eight months out of the game, and came back with performance
as if he was never gone a day. What a pro, what a player.
I salute you Rio. Glad to have you back. Watching ppl like Keane, Heinze and even Smith throwing themselves on the ground to get the ball back was realli inspiring, and reminded me why
hard work will always get you places, even if it may take a while.
Oh well, short post for today, work is realli super boring and right now don't have anything interesting to write. Today's gonna be a relatively short day, looking forward to practising my standing broad jump after work today.
By the way, this song was echoing in my head after sending Mel off at the airport, dunno why...but it was a song I had not heard playing in my head for a long time.
I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my faith?
And do they know
The places where we go
When we're gray and old?'
Cause I've been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel the love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
She won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
When I'm feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take meI know that life won't break me
When I come to call
She won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
Hmm, the more i think bout it, the lyrics of this song are pretty impressive, if only I could come up with lyrics like these. Anyways if anybody sees that ditz of a blonde Jessica Simpson please, please give her a slap for spoiling such a nice song. talk about freeloading.
Out.
Leaving, on a jet plane...
Lame title I know, but what other song could be more fitting than dat? hehe...oh well sorry for the predictability of my song titles...but anyways..
Sending Mel off
Today the day started off early, by 0950 I was in the airport, ready to send Mel off, and poor Shuli coming in through the first class gate and all, took a cab. So we were all ready for a quick painless goodbye when we realised that well, mel wasn't leaving for a long while yet. Her church frenz soon came along one by one, and the gravity of the reason why i didn't wanna go alone slowly sank in. Me and shuli had a ball of a time thinking of all the stuff the "congregation" would do, and we almost half-expected them to burst into song or something....much like a musical u noe wat i mean? haha, anyways halfway through mel asked us if we wanted to join them for a prayer, which both shuli and I politely declined, me of cos being the conservative muslim I was, (cheyy...) and shuli muttering something about "he-who-must-not-be -named" under her breath.
Soon enough it was time to say our goodbyes, and well despite all the joking or stuff, seeing Mel go was still hard, esp knowing the fact that she wont be back till bout next year. I promised her that the next time she saw me she would be fetching me from heath-throw(is dat how u spell it?). Well I am not one who breaks promises(especially big ones like this) so yah, i hope to be able to get there in 9 months time. Looking at Mel go off was and will always be a sad moment, but as I sit here Im kinda grateful of all the guys who are here wif me in Singapore.
Priya.
Cecil.
Syarif.
Sufian.
Mini.
Jerrard.
These are really the ppl whom I know I can turn to at any point of time,and Im realli grateful they're still around here, it realli makes it seem so much easier to pass by each day, knowing u got a shoulder to lean on at the end of it. And on top of all dat still got uni around, which is a big bonus Im especially grateful for.
So dats dat, talking bout dat, I better free up a Friday night soon to go vist pri lar, feel damn guilty its her second year and I havent even gone to pay a visit. Coming k pri!
Thanks a Million
Anyways since im blogging might as well use it as an opportunity to thank a few ppl(in an ok mood mah).
1) shuli, thanks a gazillion bilion for coming to the airport today, you were great company man! had hell of a time joking and stuff! hope to meet up soon....oh.oh...and thanx for taking the video and pic...*wink wink* im gonna auction it on e-bay soon, justin sure buy!
2) Terence, my mate at maju, for always having his smile on at training, your a great guy man bro. And you've been improving by leaps and bounds at the club,
which is something im yet to achieve.
3) Phil/Yu Wei for asking bout my leg, props dawg, realli didnt expect u to have a heart (cheyyy...), my legs in a bad way now man, but appreciate punching in those buttons to msg...;P
and of cos, how could I forget...
4) Yan, my man, as usual thanx for waiting for 2 hours at the airport! and lending me your house to sleep in today, was damn shack. Its been a tough few days man, but I hope you pull through.
Oh well, 75% of the ppl i thanked hear prob didnt read it, so if you see them please get the msg through k?
Indeed if there's one damn thing I agree with the VJ choir...its that "
no man is an island". Indeed, friends do get u thru it all. So treat ya frenz right k?
Mel, missing u already.
Out.
Thank u...for loving me
A Day Spent Wif Your Loved One
In my hurry to sleep before 3 yest, I omitted something rather important that happened yest, which of course was my day spent wif Uni. Uni came at 9 in the morn, and we sat on the sofa bed, trying to talk thru the rough patch that we have been having for the past few days. Soon enough, it was pretty much resolved and we sat down to watch the Terminal while having lunch together. Soon enough, the weather outside took a turn for the worse and it started pouring outside. It got pretty dark and I decided to switch on the orange light at the study table. somehwo with the simple flick of the switch the room appeared to be so much warmer. It felt really good, having Uni by my side, watching a good movie, the air-con on, what a nice time I had even in the worse of weathers. Reminded me of that John Dunne peom, bout the lady being the Sun in the room. Was it dat? Oh ....
I hate Lit.
We left at 2 in the afternoon and headed to Yakun for a hot drink. I must say they make the bestest of toasts, though I missed the eggs...sigh....
We then walked aroundd for a while, browsing at stuff and we came across a book in Times called "
Why Men don't listen and Women can't read maps."
Instantly I knew this book would prob be a biased one. I mean how on earth can u juxtapose something like "not listening' to the inability of women at "reading maps".
They are on such different levels!! Sigh biased like hell...
True enough when I opened the book, we found out that it depicted men as rather being, more than anything else, insensitive, sex-hungry beings. Sigh...One section went something like...
"
Things to do to make a Man/Woman happy". For the ladies part, there were words like "massages", "hugs", and "long talks". The list of things to do was at least five lines long.
And for the men?
Arrive Naked.
Thanx.
Oh well I have to grudgingly to agree to somethings the book said about men I guess, but I can't believe it was writted by a couple...I mean what was the husband doing?
Looking for spelling errors??? Haha....wateva, still I thought it was a rather interesting read.
Well one thing Ive learnt from yesterdae is that..
Your loved one may be an anchor slowly hauling u to the bottom of the ocean with them, but they are also your wings pulling u up to the clouds in an instant.
Dats wat i think at least.
Out.
What the world needs now....
Is better judges...
Singapore Idol Wildcard Special
As usual I did my utmost todae to try and accomadate SI into my daily schedule. I shifted tuition to an earlier time and hence had the chance to catch the show. It was alright, I think evrybody more or less improveed to a certain degree. So who got in? Sylvester was the people's choice, and the judges chose Beverly(in an attempt to add a twist they chose 2, which wasnt a twist to those who figured that idol finalists always number to 12) and maia!
Maia???
Well to those who caught her performances they would have witnessed a very unclassy and amateurish attempt at Beyonce's Crazy in Love. The first part of the song, which had the "uh-ohs" and what have u, was totally off and was a complete insult to the song. She then carried the other tunes rather mediocrely and well i wasn's impressed at all. Then started all the crazy comments....like...
"Today i saw the real maia.." - Florence Lian
and then came ken's brilliant line....
"what you have,which helps u as a performer, maia, dat is different from all the other contestants is the life experiences you have" - Ken Lim
ok fair enough not everybody has a child at 21 and is single, and proud of it, but no ken, i dont believe it helps her as a performer, especially in a song like Crazy in Love. K my quotes may not be 100% accurate but the gist is there trust me.
They also said they chose maia based on her potential in the future. OK fair enough, then why bother having a show at all. Why not give maia the contract cos she's got potential...honestly some of the shit the judges do dont make sense, if you wanna pick someone out for their potential it should be at the first auditions in the first few episodes...whateva.
So sylvester got in, what can i say? Nana underperformed tody, and sylvester did have rather good comments, which in the case of the Singapore audience ultimately gets their vote. whatever. I thought he definitely improved, but the thing is will he be able to last the whole measure? do u think he will be able to pull off an r&b? or worse still a "big band" song? Oh well the audience have decided and I shant fret cos I didnt vote or anything. Lets see.
Anyways been reading the papers this week, and loks like I didnt go wrong wif my comments on Jerry Yeo (again please note all i am not a muslim fanatic)
"That was the impression given when Ong lunched into an Oscar acceptance speech last week after his name was called, thanking Jesus and his family ebfore Gurmit Singh could even ask anything. It was unfortunate that Ong chose to drag religion, an intensely personal issue, into a secular competition and it's certain that his littel speech has caused the public to deduct a few points from his goodwill account." - Streats 15 Sep
"Speaking of divine intervention, Jerry Ong stumped everyone when he sneaked into the chosen three - his version of To love Somebody was so wretchedly unimpressive. And his muscling in a thank-you speech for his supporters and Lord and Saviour as if he'd just won an Oscar? The vanity of it was second only to Florence Lian's praise for her lookalike Cheyanne, and certainly didn't earn him any humble points." - 8 Days this week
"But there's still a chance you can get in, just ask for help from Jerry Ong." - Ken Lim to Nelson Tum, who had screwed up his piece on the Wildcard Show today
Enough said ppl, let me not harp on this any longer.
A day out with Mel
Tuesday's off was spent going out wif Mel, saw her at Toa Payoh before going to watch Harold and Kumar on my laptop. It was all ok thus far, but then i realised I had downloaded the uncensored version! Aargh...luckily Mel was understanding as always...We then went for some Ice-cream prata nearby and then we managed to walk to east point before it started pouring...I felt realli horrible for watsing Mel's time going to all these freakin lame places...oh well, but she said it was ok since we spent the time talking and stuff. Thanx Mel. Your truly a gem.
Anyways mel will be leaving on Sunday, and I have nobody to go to the airport wif to send her off. Sigh...this blows, im really shy to turn up all alone without no one....this sux. Its not dat I dont want to, but its there where I realli feel I fall behind so many other friends in ehr life, and all the unimportantness creeps in....oh well, if worse come to worse will go there myself lar, Mel is too impt a person not to send off....
Reali hope can go meet her in UK next year lar.
Oh well tomorrow got soccer again, just hope dont lose by dat much lar...i think we wont though, got a good feeling bout this. Ive also achieved a breakthrough and managed to figure out some nice tune to go with the Am chord variations and progressions ive been dabbling wif the past few days....
7 Days to IPPT.
Out.
There's a romeo bleeding, I can see his blood
I promised jerrard that I would use this line to start off my latest blog entry...hahaha...here's for u my man, so let me start...
K-Box
Saturday started earli for me as I, together wif jerrard and jeremy headed to k-box at Parkway for a karaoke session....well it didint start off too well actually. Let me tell u why. Initially me and jerrard wanted to have the session on a friday night, however, in an effort to get more people we decided to shift it to a saturday morning, and actually had the agreement of
two other people. So what happened in the end? Well lets just say that family commitments and an animal rights conference interfered. Oh well, I will give these people the benefit of the doubt, but I've learnt my lesson man, from now on gonna ask for a proper answer...no "
sounds great!" or
'should be ok!". I think wat pissed me off the most was the fact that we actually took the trouble to rearrange the schedule, and jerrard himself actualli went all the way to orchrad on a fridae night(close to 11) jus to get the membership card from his friend. Some people ah....oh well...
People will always be people. (does dat make sense?)
Anyways singing was fine, I was truly amazed at Jeremy's voice, as i told Jerrard, if I had closed my eyes and listened to him sing, I would seriously think i was hearing jon bon jovi himself. I was utterly impressed to say the least. Jerrard was not bad too, I think we all had a fun time, and that was the most impt thing, though I started off with songs like
Bent and
Deep Inside of You, eventually carried on to better songs,and even did some linkin park!! Which was real great lar. But most imptly was real happy dat jeremy and jerrard only sang bout 4 chinese songs in the 3 hours plus, when they could easily sing more, with such a wide range at their fingertips.
Props 2 u guys man.
Maju
As usual I left Maju realli pissed and all, for two things;
1) Coach giving an absolutely ridiculous penalty
2) The Malay guys being absolute fuckin idiots
Coach gave a bloody lousy penalty and followed it up wif an even more brilliant argument, if not for the fat dat i had to give him some respecta n i was the discipline IC, i would have continued arguing all the way. I thought terence had a smashing game and coach took it away with a stupid stupid decision. Oh well wateva lar, I just knew dat my intention was to fight for terence and my team...
The malay guys are too much, as they walked off the pitch during the 8 a side we had. There is realli no proper leadership or governance in Maju and dat is wat is realli needed. Their attitude realli stinks, and they are so god damn stubborn. Wat a typical Malay attitude.
And dat is why we will never go far.(Both Maju and Malays)
Wateva, wats the use of caring? Sometimes I feel real guilty for conteplating to quit cos of ppl like damu, jeremy, jerrard, mini , fong and even shufi, who still have the belief in the team....but oh well, its not dat i choose to lar, just convinced to cos of circumstances aorund me...
oh well,
will i stay or will i go? hmmm....eveyrbody's guess is as good as mine, im nt sure myself, but i thinkit wil only be a matter of time....but
im not gonna leave anyone behind. There are so many good men out there and these guys deserve something man....
Meeting Uni
Meeting uni makes me absolutely glow, she had dinner at my house today and we watched a bit of President's Star Charity. Quite comical lar to be honest. Uni is such a great girl to love and to be loved by! Sometimes u just need someone in your life who will never fail to give you the pick-me-up and that person for me, is Uni. Even though I spent less than 3 hours with her, it was more than enough, though I felt the effects of not seeing her for so long before this. Sometimes I wonder how on earth we met, but oh well, therse are the things we just need to accept and not question. Life right now is realli fucked up, but knowing I have Uni's heart keeps me going.
oh well, dats all for now, still waiting for OOP to approve my leave, f he does itll be a great week, if he doesnt then dats just typical cocked up him. Anyways if u are free give te President's Star Charity a call and donate, cos well I just realised dat though I keep complainin bout life, there are ppl out there who are not so priveleged but just keep looking at that little ray of light in ther darkened sky and believe. So well donate if you can k?
God bless all these fighters. RESPECT.
Out.
There can be miracles...when u believe
Singapore Idol Group 3
This was absolutely a shocking show. I couldn't believe what was happening in front of me. Taufik? Ok lar, I guess he was within a shooting chance of getting into the finals, although obviously Beverly and Nana were the obvious favourites. But Jerry????? Oh well, I couldn't stand his no good helium voice and he gave a very very poor rendition of the song. What a shocker. However, I think what made me most pissed off was him and his
"I would like to thank my lord and saviour Jesus Christ". Ok all who know me I have
nothing against Christians. But just don't understand why Jerry had to publicise his thankfulness for God, and he even planned to say so!!! I mean TV is not a place for one to publicise his religion. I mean anyone who has a religion would
definitely have a god to thank. Well I just got the vibe that when Jerry said it he also had some intention to tell and show ppl that with Jesus all things are possible.
Well, I would definitely agree. And I admire Christians for their zeal for religion. Just things said on national tv at prime time is
best kept to just light hearted stuff, i mean i noe of ppl who were rather annoyed at his words, u noe like kinda antagonised? Those are my thoughts, hope you will respect it.
In a week the wildcard show will be on, and I dont know who will get in too....my only hope is dat the judges will choose properly, though I think it will be hard for them to agree on one person. As for singapore, oh well it was evident in the last show that many ppl just watch and cant be bothered to vote.
Well, I'm one of em.
I will just be behind beverly and nana, cos I felt that they were robbed of a place amongst the creme de la creme and were not rewarded for their efforts.
That's life.
Sounds familiar, don't you think?
Out.
Killing me softly...
Killing Me Softly
Today I trudged in the function room on level 4 to help out with the ranking exercise. It was 1100hrs. 8 plus hours later I walked out completely and utterly exhausted, only to realise that I had to sit down the next day from 0930 for another ranking exercise. Man, I realli couldn't believe I had been doing the same thing for 8 whole hours. And it completely wasted my day. And brilliantly Phil is on leave tomorrow, which means that I have to go and handle the OC Ops meeting, which usually takes half the day up at least. Oh well, my only worry is dat I will fall asleep, but I know how to counter dat. Simply pretend your answering a call, whether dat of you h/p or nature...and walk out.
Amazin.
And to think one actualli had to ask for permission to do this not too long ago.
He's got the whole world, in his hands
Oh yes, what did I learn today.
The reason why people suck up so much. Cos their fate, their monthly pay, their very livelihood is determined by their supervisor. How sucky is this? Maybe the working world is not as rosy as it seems, maybe schools are better, cos the fact is your exam marks speak for everythin and no matter how much you hate/like the teacher, no matter how much else you do outside of the exampaper, it will not matter. Girls should realli do NS and then they realise that the physical part of it is nothing. Then again, most ppl are prob ok with NS, except for disgruntled, mongrel banshees like me.
Trust me. I know.
Its realli crazy how power is concentrated in the hands of so few. I mean having a higher rank gives nobody any right to judge over others. How on earth would they know how much effort/work or how little the people work? Some people are born sucker-uppers, they don't do much but what little they do they purposely "frame" in front of their bosses. Some people are hard workers, but prefer not to go,and
shamlessly, display it to other people. So how are the bosses suppose to justly reward everybody? How do they know how much struggle a person puts thru that may or may not contribute to the quality of his work.
For all u know, the very person whom u percieve as
lazy, could be holding two
jobs, feeding a family, an ailing parent.....sigh.
Its all very sad.
My bosses were actually asking
me for recommendations of the people in the list. Hmmmm....jut goes to show how much they take notice of the people. To be honest I don't think they know even half of the people around them. Oh well...suit themselves lar. Mini told me last weekend about how the Commander at his camp actually knows him
by name. Dats where the difference lies, between a leader in the eyes, and a leader of the heart.
Even if a leader at heart is not all that successful, the very way that he leads endears him to his followers no matter wat. Even though those under him may eventually surpass him, they will never lose their respect for him,and will always see him as a leader - me
Alas, that is not to be, at least in the cage I go to every morning that is the workplace.
Oh well, dats basically been the main issue hanging in my mind all this while. Sigh, the world is full of such callous adults.
And I'm scared.
Of turning into one of them.
P.S. Btw, Oasis' "
don't go away" is
one hell of a song.
Out.
Breakfast(Dinner) at Tiffany's(Sarpino)
Monday Blues
As usual Monay starts off slow enough, somehow I managed to wake up at 0825 and still be earli enough for work...hahaha. Looks like there'll be a day where I'm gonna wake up at 0845 or something...hahaha. As sucky as SPF is, i still relisht he fact I get up later than most guys...hehe... Today my boss was in a super restless mood, with his incessant pacing of the office and stuff. He kept coming over to mine and Phil's side, and of course I tried my best to entertain him, which wasn't really hard.
1)feign interest
2)fiegn laughter
3)feign that your impressed with his jokes/thoughts
Its as easy as that. And soon enough we headed for breakfast, where we realisde that "prata telor" (prata wif egg) doesnt exist in Sinagpore no more. The rest of the day was ok, rather smooth for a monday, of course there was the usual hang-ups but 6 o'clock came soon enough..
Then me and phil decided to take a different approach for the day's run. We went to run at Bedok Reservoir instead, of course with the intention of lookin at some girls. Of course this never came true, we had a pretty good run, and phil kept the pace well, although he confessed by the end he was gonna die, but well, like I said as long as u dont get out of your comfort zone u will never improve. Correct? We then proceeded to do weights....I was dead tired after two sets and could not push myself no more....But at least I felt good Phil was around to keep me company....Tomorrow there will be basketball, so lookin forward to dat too lar...Lets see how the wind blows...
Food and Family
Today I also met Baba, Mama and Amirul for dinner at Sarpino's Pizza at Eastpoint, damn nice man...i recommend it to anybody lookin for a cheaper, but just as good an alternative to Pizza Hut. We laughed hell of a lot, and there I talked to my mom about university and stuff. My mom is gonna graduate in a year's time. 3 sons, a husband, two houses and Discipline Mistress, still can do university. Im damn proud of my mom. I asked my dad if he wanted to pursue a diploma or degree but he just laughed it off. So told myself that when I grow up and have enough money im gonna pay for him to study. It may not matter but I just want him to walk around wif more self-worth which I think my father lacks at times...
This conversation then transpired between me and Mama;
"So ma do you have any money set aside for my university?"
"No."
Awkward silence. Realisation slips in.
"So how?"
"Don't worry I will manage. I always do."
Sigh....Now I feel realli lost and all. But not to worry, I guess its just the sucky feeling of being a financial burden to my family, which I have not been since I entered JC. Hopefully I will be able to pay my parents back as soon as possible though.
Anyways its gettin late....I think its time to call it a night. My EURO 2004 game has finished d/loading so dats great man. Time to kick some European ass, and of course get David James outta the team cos of his god-damn(sorry God) howler dat day.
P.S. If you were the funny ang-moh man next to my table at Sarpino's whohad to endure the weird staring punctuated by giggles by my father and Amirul, I am really sorry. And yes, they are always like dat.
Out.
You've Got a Friend
Frenz..are they all worth it?
Today I was thinking bout this as I was showering after reaching home from Maju and dinner with Jerrard. Are friends all that worth it? I realsie my weakness is sometimes putting too much into a friendship and then being disappointed when u realise that as much as u try to be all Pally and chummy wif the person, one cannot expect the person to reciprocate it.
Hmmmmm....much like chasing a girl actually. =p This has happened to me more than once, and at the end of the day all I fell is unappreciated and all. But u noe wat, as Ive told those around me, often what makes u happy or sad is your expectation for something. But is it wrong to expect the same level of care and concern from the person dat u care for as much? I dont know realli.
Sometimes it jst gets kind of lonely and desperate when I think...."
wait a minute am I going to get through life without proper good and realli tight friends?"
But ultimately I think bout all the ppl who have stuck out for me and bring much joy to my life.
They know who they are. At times I attempt to draw up a list as to who my good friends are and then just as Im about to punch the keys in, I stop and realise...
I can't.
I wanna be good friends wif
everybody.
Well its both my strength and my curse.
Ultimately as I ponder upon the many days I've spent trawling on this earth I realise that not everybody will turn out to be a realli good friend. But to those who have I thank them.
Its not easy being a friend(a good one at dat) to Azrulnizam.
Man, I'm tired, still thinking on whether to catch that damn england match....maybe....
Out.
Quit playing games with my heart....
Breaking Labour Laws
Today marked the second time we worked over 30 hours in the past two weeks. It started of well enough and we were doing well. I was part of the video team and intially we weren't activated as yet. However soon enough we me, phil and see packed ourselves into a
car and hurried down to capture some action. Not bad actually. Sorry if you sense I'm holding things back here, but well I don't wanna spend my life locked away for saying too much. So do bear wif me. By the time we were 3/4 through it was past 1 in the morning and then me and phil decided to do the most outrageous thing ever. We changed up, and heaed to the gym. Yes, u heard it right, we were pumping iron and eating up the treadmill track at 2 in the morning. I felt kinda tired but somehow was realli determined to get something done with the free time I had. By 3 we had finished and I went down, lay the bed and took a nap for 3 hours. However, it realli felt like 30mins, before I knew it we were up again for the last stage. Luckily enough I willingly volunteered myself to hold the fort at the Ops Cell. Thought of blogging from there though but it wa super risky. Though well it was kinda intriguing, u noe doing something personal from the very heart of your HQ? Something u might find in those secret-agent double-crossing
movies you see...Haha
.....make believe.
Singapore Idol Group Two
Today saw the second group of 10 for Singapore Idol. I watched it from the comfort of Colin's place, where I had chosen to take my rest after the Ops. The groupwas much better but as usual there were your bunch of Jokers and of course the potentials. First up must be the Malay wannabe Haizad Imram...he sounded as my bro kindly put "like a goat". He was trying to do somuch and was trying so hard to milk the crowd that he forgot essentially it was a singing comp. And to make matters worse he was actualli tryin to make a dedication whilst being judged? Pathetic right? Nah...just typical Malay. As i pointed out in my earlier entry. Yes, looks can only get u so far. Then there was Daphne Khoo, whose voice was like someone who had just breathed in not one, but two canisters of helium. SHe gave a rather pathetic rendition of "I will survive". As I told phil, Singaporeans should only sick to simpler songs and not those sung by black divas....the version was sucky and meek, but thanx to the brilliant, inaccurate comments by the judges, the Singapore crowd was swayed to vote for her. Oh well....then came Christopher Lee, your typical clean-cut choir trained boy, whose pure voice was realli great! rops to him but my only worry is to whether he will be more flexible in the final 10 where contestansts have to sing according to a theme. I think the dark horse in the comp so far has to be Candice Foo, good packaging and she looks like the sort that will improve as the competition goes on. WEll, all the best to the ppl, looking forward to Group3 in a week's time.
Btw SPF will be having a Service Idol and I think I will give it a shot if I can afford the time.
Matters of the heart
I think I've fallen into a trap I built for myself, as shadows of the past are now beginning to creep up in corners of my heart. Its making me question a lot of things right now. Somehow I noe I will still be steadfast but I just don't like thinking about it, thinking about the past, and the regrets which I bear till now.
Pri is also rather down cos now its pretty obviour that Giri won't reply her messages. She seems pretty upset, since she didn't expect GR to be this way. I mean everbody noes he's the nicest of guys. But perhaps he has this reason and perhaps he doesnt. I just hope Pri will not be so upset, though its hard to put myself in her shoes. She realli deserves so much better, and as I've always said she shouldnt look at it as if its her loss. Its his. Oh well in the meantime I'm gonna do my best to get her thru this, cos thats wat friends are for anyways.
Out.
If we hold on together....
Feeling Neglected
I guess ppl are right when they say that University realli determines if a couple "can make it" or not. Lately I've been rather frustrated, owing to the fact that Uni is forever busy wif everything else. I'm glad she is enjoying herself, fully immersing herself in the university experience, but well I do feel neglected from time to time. But its ok lar....i think the major cause of break-ups owes to the facts that one side cannot accept the changes in the other and both refuse to give in...thus leading to a conflict and a vicious cycle which ultimately leads to a break-up and two lost souls...oh well both me and uni can be pretty hard-headed but im gonna play it cool this time around lar...give her the space she needs. But i think Ive gotta talk to her soon about it anyways.
Back to the Drawing Board
After the outing with the class last Sunday, I remember an instance when Pri came up to me and asked me bout my music and how it was all going. I think it realli flicked a switch inside me, dat ppl do indeed care for my music. Again on Monday she asked me again and even started quoting the lines from "one last dance". What an amazing thing to hear. I felt realli uplifted that, yes, there were ppl out there who care for my music, and better still ppl like pri were actualli waiting for me to come up to a sequel to
"On the back of cigarette boxes". So I started putting in the effort again and yesterdae after much thinking and playing around wif chord progressions, I managed to coin the first verse and chorus line of a song I titled "this empty room", which is of course is a kind of more dramatic look at how things are at work. 3 songs done....hope to write 4 more in time to come. I think the most satisfying feeling is singing it and hearing ppl actualli catching on much like my bro did yest.
Oh well that's all for now, in office on the brink of another 24hour work-day till tom afternoon followed by a tution session with Syafiqa. Wonder how she did for the tests. I'm afraid to find out though.
Btw,
Yesterdae Pri told me that she and shul noticed that me and jun still look good together. Oh well.
Let Bygones be bygones.
And I realised i dont have time for ppl like jah who need a shoulder cos I got uni around whom I need to care for. Sigh, its so hard to be
everything to everyone.
Till later.
Out.
