Baby goodbye...doesnt mean forever.
Indeed goodbye truly doesnt mean forever. I just got back fromt he VJ 20th anniversary dinner, and I had hell ofa night. We all met up at 7, and thanx to Bert's smooth and swift driving along the ECP i made it there more or less on time. Thanx a mil bert, you're a lifesaver. I must admit I was a little scared at times cos I realised how close we were to the road, and how everything was going so fast, but at the end of the day, RESPECT man.
So we all met up and I gave ppl like Nelly a big long hug, I realli missed these guys, and I was glad of all the batches, our batch was the only more or less complete one. Lucas was there from 200, che chun from 1999, huimin from 98, russell from 2002.
Gavin, Daniel and Paul.
Before entering the hall, paul, es, chin wei and nelly take a drink.
But it was Azrul, fong, darryl, daniel, esmond, paul, puva, farhan, syarif, chin wei, wei quan and nelson from 2001.
The food was ok, didnt start off too well, but got better towards the end. I thought the program was a bit lame, but well not dt I realli cared. I , as usual popped a million and one jokes, and even shouted myself hoarse for Fong to win the dancing competition, which was eventually won by Mr Seet. Oh well, I had a good time, and a few key moments happened today.
A flash from the past
"Someone wants to talk to you and say hello." said Pri.
Of cos the first name that flashed past my head, looking at that coy smile of Pri's and her widening eyes, Charlene Kwa.
Woah. I couldn't believe it. She would want to talk to me, after all that happened btw us? Ok. So I told Pri that I would talk to her after the dinner ended. After all, I still had to keep the soccer guys company. Haha, somehow, I was rather uptight and couldnt wait for the dinner to end.
"So hows everything?"
"Its ok."
"Ok, hope evrything is ok, take care though."
A pat on the shoulder. "
Ok, I will...byebye."
And thus ended the landmark conversation between me and Charlene. It was short but nice, especially that pat on the shoulder, or was it the grip on the arm? Hmmm..... It was sincere though. I wished I had taken a picture wif her. I wish I had said she looked nice. ButI didn't. As usual.
Later I thought to myself. Why does she have to come back into the frame now? When I'm attached? When I'm happily attached. Why is she here to distract me? Sigh, what luck. Why couldn't she have been nicer when I was still a single guy. I hate this type of situations, and flashes from the past which suddenly open tiny tupperwares which I've tried my darnest to hide in the closets of my mind. But well its open now. Again. And it sux. But well its not dat bad lar, I can handle it.
I hope.
Flash from the Past 2
Just before I left the place, I was searching for my soccer coach Mr tan, when I stumbled upon a familiar face. Rong Hui. Crap. My heart couldn't take any more of these sorta things. We said hello and I found out she's majoring in social work. Well done, honestly, now I know two people majoring in it Adila and herself. RESPECT.
Anyways we said hello and exchanged h/p nos. well more like me asking for hers but wateva. She looked realli good, what with nicely highlighted hair and contacts, a far cry from her "cute girls behind the glasses" days. Oh well. I took a pic with her,as you can see below.
Me n Rong Hui.
Sigh, why did it have to happen twice to me.
Two realli nice girls which I admit I had the hots for, and which I eventually drifted away from after I decided to "show hand" as phil would put it. Two girls whom I thought were the perfect girls to estb a reall healthy friendship and who noes wat more wif. Two girls whom I eventually drifted away from.... and they came back. As nice as ever. As if nothing ever happened.
Don't get me wrong of cos I'm grateful they still see me the way they did, but well, u noe sometimes u just wish u let go of something and have it never appear again in your life?
My weak bladder
I have a serious prob, cos today I went to the toilet four times during the dinner. What the hell? Felt uncomfortable most of the time. Dunnoe why. Hope this doesnt happen too much.
So basically let me get back on track.
I spent the rest of the night joking with guys. We even won a lucky draw prize, some sort of luggage bag which we stupidly left behind anyways. We ended about 11 plus, and after some deliberation headed to cafe cartel for a meal.I drank some hot cocoa and felt way better. Went back with Dick and Bird, and had a good tlak with Bird bout life in Army and the Da Vinci Code. So now I'm home and typing this.
A salute, and a toast.
The soccer guys were the best things that happened to me in VJ, and tonight justified why. Even though we hadn't met for months or even a year, we clicked like before, all the joking, making fun of ppl, laughing loudly, I swear half the time the ppl around us were wondering who those jokers at table 6 were.
I feel so comfortable around these guys, and well, somehow when you've gone through so much wif a group of ppl, nothing can ever take it away. Its almost as if those two years had turned us from brothers to strangers. I will never forget you guys.
Before we left we promised each other to meet within the next month to play a soccer game. I really hope we will.
"Do u think you can ever play soccer wif a team like VJ again?" - Daniel Lim
Out.
No time for losers....
"if there is one damn team in the world who can beat Arsenal, it'll be Man U"
Dat was the last text msg I typed in before I went to sleep at 2 this morning. What a game, what a night. I sat myself in the balcony, hoping for a wni, but expecting a draw, after seeing Viera lead Arsenal out of the tunnel, and Man United without Roy Keane.
But at the end of the day, with some luck(yes I will acknowledge dat) and some ruthless agression and pure desire, Man U downed Arsenal 2-0, leaving them short of that magical 50 unbeaten matches. I loved every moment of it, even thought ther first half was very start-stop, with incessant fouls all over the pitch. The Neville brothers gave Reyes a good hard english battering, the poor guy was on the floor half the time. In the end he was substituted for Pires. Too bad spaniard. hey dat rhymes.
But anyways it was 0-0 at half-time, and many an Arsenal fan would argue that Rio should have been sent off for that barge on Ljungberg 15 mins into the game. Well, perhaps, but in my opinion it was very 50-50, Ljungberg had pushed the ball too far ahead, making it a 50-50 ball, and in the end from Riley's view it prob seemed dat rio was going for the ball. But well I did thank Man U's good luck right? Later on Caroll pulled off a brillIangt save from Henry, and even though it was scoreless after 45, I had a feeling Man U could ride on their luck and go all the way.
The second half started and Man U began to dominate, Phil Neville was superb, and had he not put in that brilliant tackle that shook Henry up, who knows wat the Arsenal no. 14 would have done. Ronaldo had a chance from a corner which he completely fluffed, and Scholes fluffed a volley too. But cue Rooney, who was quiet throughout the game, and his jink past Campbell ended up in a trip and a penalty. Again I hear the Arsenal fans saying Campbell didnt touch him. Well, he din touch him in the initial stretch of the leg, but as all the Arsenal fans started tearing their hair out, my eyes stayed glued to the TV, and realised dat as Campbell withdrew his leg it made contact with Rooney. Of cos it was a touch which would barely hurt a fly...but the boys learning aint he? In a game like dat sometimes u just gotta fall and hope for the best. I don't think Rooney's the only person guilty of such a thing. Flashback Pires Arsenal fans.
I thought it was really funny when Sol Campbell turned around and shouted at Rooney but the dude was up and runnnig celebrating the penalty decision. It was twice as funny in slow motion.
Up stepped Ruud, and 1-0 to Man U, completely fooled Lehmann. The emotion as Ruud celebrated was amazing. One could sense the relief in him more than anything, finally buried the ghost of last season's penalty kick which gave Arsenal the title.
Arsenal pushed forward and were again punished with a Saha-Smith-Rooney Combo. Superb counter, and the Birthday boy celebrated his first Premiership goal. At the end of the game there was a lot of protesting by the Arsenal players, but a win is a win, and I really felt damn happy, super happy, shucks happy is such a lousy word. Ecstatic more like it. Seeing ppl like Ronaldo, Rio, the neville brothers and even alan smith get down and dirty to destroy the arsenal play was a brilliant sight. No doubt Arsenal is still 8 points ahead, which is a big big gap after 10 matches.
But I'll take what I can get. Winning today was unbelievable.
Glory glory.
Indeed.
Out.
Don't let it get away....
Indeed wat damu said was true. I was 15 minutes away from not going to Maju. I woke up at 345, bleary-eyed and rather lethargic, and as I looked outside, I saw that it had started drizzling...the sky was kinda cluody, and it threatened to pour...
"
Maybe I shouldn't go..."
And I was halfway through msgin Jeremy dat I was prob gonna give training a miss when I suddenly thought bou the other guys who might come down....How would they feel? I knew the feeling of coming down and not having many ppl around, and I ddint want other ppl to experience it...
So I met Jeremy at 4 and we headed down to Maju. We were the first ones there, even though it was 430. Jerrard came soon after, and then came mini and fong...we started kicking and crossing at one end of the field as coach was giving the RP boys some training...
"Here we go again, same story..."
But the RP boys soon packed up and coach came our way...
And the rest as they say is history.
Yest was the toughest but definitely most fulfilling training I had had in Maju. Though there were only six of us, we ran our asses off, doing some basic drills which were reali tiring. Its hard to describe here, but after ending off the day at 655, the exhaustion I felt, and the aching in my thighs....they all felt painfully good. I was really satisfied, having known that I had pushed myself during training.
Perhaps this was a sign of better things to come, perhaps this was just a one-off thing. The answer will come in six days...but in the mean time, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Prayers
Yesterday's prayer session was realli good, as I told Jerrard, I went away feeling realli good, and more imptly feelin that I had spent myself well in devotion to God. Most of the time, I sit bout a row or two from the front.It feels kinda weird, cos I'm the youngest in the lot, the ppl around me are mostly above 40, and prob ppl who spend half the day praying, which I unfortunately dont. But somehow being in the midts of ppl who are so passionate about god does in someway catch on to me, and looking/listening at how intense their devotion is is really touching. Yesterdae, the
imam, was so "into" his supplications dat he couldnt finish it towards the end, cos he was rather emotional and all, so had trouble reading it clearly.
I realli admire ppl like him, who feel so much, and whose heart and religion are one. I can only hope to achieve at state someday.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not into all this type of extremist/possesed stuff, i just admire those who realli feel for the religion and reach a state where their devotion to God is second to none.
Ladder 49
The day ended with me and Jerrard heading to our favourite haunt princess to catch ladder 49. 7 bucks on a sat night for a sneak preview....
delicious.
The movie was excellent. Really no regrets watchin it. And it really made me reflect about life as a fireman, and wat it meant to spend your life helping others.
As I said to Jerrard,
there are ppl in this world who risk their lives so others might live.
Respect.
Nuff said, yesterdae was a brilliant day. I gotta leave for tuition in half hour, and its been looking like wet London outside my window since the morning.
Out.
Man in the Mirror
This week, unfortunately, I am unable to give my low down on the SIngapore Idol round, since I was busy at tuition and did not have time to tune in, except for the occasional verse or 2 from the idols...but anyways
maia ended her jurney last night, which was alright I guess, though I thought that the way Singapore had been voting, somebody like
Taufiq or
Leandra might go out. But anwyasy it was her and sylvester, and well, I had hoped that
sylvester would go out...but maia going out was ok, since she had proven that she could not do much....I remember her saying in the papers "
I wanna shake off that shakira tag".
Sure.
She sang obsession...by Shakira.
So yes I guess she did deserve the boot.
Nonchalance, Callousness
Yesterdae afternoon was spent rushing making calls, trying to get a collar pin for the upcoming dinner. I was rather frantic since there was not much time left, and I kept getting greeted wif the normal reply that the number I wished to make was too small....oh well...
But more than that were the sheepish looks I was greeted with by Gilbert and Phil. Oh well, I guess they had all the right to right...?
Then Phil said...
"They actually want to action..."
Action btw in this capacity meant to show off.
I completely lost it, and shut the yellow pages, sat down and lost any inspiration or desire to try and make the collar pin.
Its really frustrating when people dismiss your efforts and see it in a different light. I was trying realy hard to rush the collar pin, cos I wanted to give my team something to remember other than the gold medals. I wanted us to have a sense of identity, and the only thing that I wanted to "show off" was our unity, amongst the many sportsmen and ex-VJCians at the dinner. Becos basically all my team had, was our unity, we weren't the most skilled, the fittest, or tactically aware....But we stuck by each other no matter wat. And to me dats what set my team apart from any other team VJ has produced. And the two gold medals that we won, was testimony to the fact that the team off the field was as equally impt as the team on it.
But anyways back to the tale of the day. I was realli disappointed. Especially since this collar pin, and my efforts in trying to make it happen was something which I held close to my heart. And well, sometimes, wat ppl say gets to me immensely.
Then later at night, i was tlking to my brother about the change of RI's headmaster...and told him how my batch didnt like him in particular... and his reply?
"Your batch sucked wat..."
Yet again, I stormed off into my room, muttering and cursing under my breath.
I guess its always simple to say things when you are not in the person's seat, and I, amongst most ppl am guilty of it.
Not dat it made his comment hurt any less.
He wasnt the one whohad to spend his sec 4 year adapting to the "homeroom" system, which was an utter waste of time and energy....nor was he the one who had to endure the change in senior/junior recess to one combined recess. I thing the most painful thing for the class of 2000 was seing how the school changed form a dynamic institution to one where the emphasis was on studies....just like any other school. It hurt us that soccer was closed down, that rugby had gone down the drain, that we no longer broke records at national schools track, nor challenged 4 titles at X-country. More than that the Rafflesians of today who had been under the same headmaster for 4 years did not feel the gravity of change that we felt....which was obvious. It just boils down to the fact that if you dont noe it, you wont miss it, which was wat we experienced.
But I guess he was entitled to his comments nonetheless....
Well, as gilbert mentioned, the inescapable but beautiful fact of this world is dat even in the worst of times you can learn something....and I learnt that sometimes saying things which you might not think twice about may affect the person u direct it to in a bad way.
Don't be insensitive and just run your mouth, Azrul.
And i'm so guilty of this. And I must make the effort to shut my mouth up, rather than speak wat I feel without thinking...oh well. Enough about this, it s depressing to hold a mirror up to youself.
But u gotta do it once in a while.
Maju United-A pre-training commentary
Maju is in a few hours...man. I'm really dreading it somehow. I just noe I'm gonna waste my time again today. This is so bad. I have to act soon, cos its eating away. Somehow nowadays I dont realli wanna go there. I don't think I'm spending any quality time.
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change
Sounds tacky but true. But well, if I were Michael I wouldn't be taking my own lyrics too seriously.
The mirror's a dangerous place for him.
Out.
How long...how long...will I slide?
Messin Up
Sigh the past few days have been messed up at work to say the least. First things first yest I woke up at 0925hrs for work, and reached work at bout 0950, yo. IF it was the army I would prob be sitting somewhere scrubbing the floor or maybe carrying gunny sacks or somethin. My boss actually noticed me coming into the office and luckily he let me off with a simple "Next time give me a call, so I know nothing happened to you." I've also been rather tired the past few days, quite sleepy and all....sigh. Yest I had to rush off after OOP gave me a presentation to reformat, then he complained that the word size and all were not the same size....duh of course lar...some slides have to have more words right? cock...anyways he chided me a bit bout it, but I shan't bother to talk about it lar, cos nowadays going thru work is just pure torture, so I try to be numb to all this kinda things, that might not be so good for morale and stuff...but wat can I expect right? I am so screwed for my Certificate of Service, and as luck in my life would have it, it will prob cost me a few jobs somewhere in the future...but wat can i do right? Pretend to be enthu about work? Try and carry everybody else's balls? Sorry but I'd rather not, cos I dont wanna lead my life at the expense of others, especially so when they show you no appreciation at all...the sooner the next seven months pass, the better actually.
God
Lately, I've realli made a conscientious effort to try to bring myself close to god, cos I realise there's not many places where I can find solace in. It feels realli goosd at times, and I'm proud of myself with each passing day that I draw closer to God. I've really learnt, over the past 5 days, dat fasting is more than just not eating and drinking, in fact to me now, the hunger and thirst is barely there, except when Im running at the reservoir...instead its really more a time to devote to God. I think thats the true meaning of ramadhan, to really try and draw youself closer to god. Which i think I am slowly achieving. I find myself really passionate bout my religion nowadays...its good but scary at times, i dont wanna be somebody like jerry,for me, my thanks and devotion to god is between me and him, and not for the whole country to know. Btw read his last blog entry on the Idol website and you will noe wat I mean.
Maju United FC - A Weekly Digest
Bout two days ago, I had a chat with Ben online about Maju. And he said something that has stuck in me ever since.He told me that soccer is meant to be enjoyed.
How true.
I realised that I've barely been enjoying myselfat Maju. I cant stand the older players, and I dont see the use in paying ten bux to do nothing every week. We are but a club with no ambition, which sad to say, belies the qualities of the ppl who play for it. Week after week, my patience is slowly wearing down, I am very sure that it will soon run out. But till then, I will just, like all the ppl around me, wait and hope.
Why do we have to suffer for the mistakes of others?
Life in NS
Sigh. Why does life in NS have to suck so much? Why does it have to be so damn unfulfilling? Crap, I will never forget these 2 years and 2 months when they eventually end.
Out.
Its not easy, to be me....
Today was the karaoke finals, and I got a consolation prize, which I didnt even bother to collect. Anyways my bro collected it for me, and Im giving him bout 60% of it lar, I told him I just wanted $20 to tide me over for the next few weeks.
I was realli nervous today, cos I was the first guy to sing. I thought it went ok, and I guess it was ok, as many ppl around me said. I remember Phil told me before the results...."
Eh don't worry if you don't get top three I will get out of Ops unit."
Well, naturally, as my brilliant luck would have it, I didnt finish in the top three, and Phil? He is still in Ops Unit thankfully.
I guess its typical Azrul lar, those of you who have known me long enough know that my drive to succeed is ultimately the very anchor that pulls me to the bottom. At the end of the day I was quite upset lar, but I was very very disappointed that I had let the people who believed in me down.
Don't worry, I expect no sympathy from anybody.
I dunno wats worse....letting yourself down....or the people around u? That will be the subject of my new poll. I had 8 ppl take part in my last one, so I hope I will get more response for this one.
For me I guess its a bit of both. I feel really bitter even till now, and I'm very very disappointed. But well not like dats gonna change anything rite? I guess I'm just tired of knowing the fact and being reminded by God dat I cant seem to achieve much in this world. The scars from maju yest are still fresh, and suddenly now I have another one. I realli love singing but when things like this hapen I just wonder why I even bother.
Khadijah once told me that she doesnt like taking part in singing comps cos it spoils your passion for singing.
How true. Then again if i got somethign better than I did toay, I'd prob not say so. Sometimes I just wonder if all of this is just worth it lar...
I wish I could go on and on bout how things didnt go my way today but I won't cos it hurts thinkin bout it, but well, it is the holy month of Ramadhan so I shall count my blessings...
I'm blessed cos...
1) I have a group of frenz and a brither who are willing to be there for me.
Phil never stopped encouraging me before, during and after the comp, and for dat I'm grateful.
Gilbert made his way down even when he didnt have to.
Jeremy even wanted to go himself.
Azizul, despite evrything, has always proved himself to be a hell-of-a-reliable brother, being there for most of my performances, and even helping to fill in for one. Even
See came down, I guess the presence of these ppl realli made the night somewhat special, and I'm sorry dat I had to let them down. I'm sure they're prob beg to differ once they read this, but it doens't take anything away from the fact dat I had let them down.
2) I was given the clarity and clear-headedness by God to pray even in such a time. Even though I was in the middle of a comp, I still made my way to pray to Him. Even though it was in a stuffy stairwell. Alone. But I'm grateful dat He never forgot bout me, and indeed even though I walked away wif nothing, at least I had fulfilled my duties, first and foremost as Muslim.
3) To have a wonderful girlfriend like Uni around. No matter wat, she has always been around for me, and like I told her just now, knowing I had her around was more than anything I could ask for.
4) I have had the opportunity to pratice and experience this competition. I have never entered an individual singing comp, much less a karaoke one, but well it thought me a lot of stuff lar, and I realised how impt it was/is to hav confidence in yourself. Knowing dat u are good enough goes a long way. However, this is def the last comp I wanna take part in, cos I cant stand the heartache.
Lame I noe, but I'm sure u hate the feeling too.
Impossible, as it may seem.
You've got to fight for every dream.
Cos who's to know, which one you let go..
Will make you complete.
I guess its true dat you have to fight for your dreams.
But you gotta pick your fights.
"
The only guy who said that it doesn't matter if you won or lost, probably lost."
But music is too much a part of me to give it up. I told people once that I wanna sing cos I wanna sing, and doing it for anything else would spoil it.
How did I forget?
Out.
Wont somebody come take me home?
Today maju sucked. I decided to come early to do a bit of training wif Jeremy, thanx for coming early wif me man. We did a bit of ball control lar...was quite ok...
But anyways when training proper started i was quite frustrated, for a few things...
1) The guys wanted to do some training, but mini and fong like were quite reluctant in calling in all the guys...and was wondering why....I didnt realli wanna take an active role, since I had already told myself to stay int he background at maju, but well....so much for dat...
2) I had a horrible horrible 4 v 2 session. I have never been "monkey" so many damn times in my life. And to make things worse the lack of food was getting worse...sigh, I made a lot of lousy tackles, which I dont usually like to do, I'm not a dirty player and somehow I came across as dat todae...sigh....and i didnt even apologise, realli ashamed wif myself, didnt realli play well also...
3) I got very frustrated cos caoch has been chasing me for the feedback forms, so asked the guys to feel it up immdiately, which was kinda stupid lar, but was the best way to make sure i get the forms...I even raised my voice when damien didnt bring mine and his form, i even told him, "
Dont waste my time" in a rather irritable, high-handed manner....sigh
strike three...
In the end i left maju pissed and early....but i think i wanna apologise to a few people...
Damien, sorry for raising my voice man, i was being damn unreasonable, and sorry for the late tackle.
Justin,sorry for the late tackle, and forcing you to fill up the form fast realli stupid of me.
Jerrard, sorry for forcing u to fill it up too...
Jeremy, sorry for reading your feedback form out as a sample when earlier i said it was supposed to be confidential.
Damn. I think this training i screwed up in every possible way, I
was impatient, irritated and impudent. And I didint even have a decent training. Crap.
Thing is, I am really down at maju, there seems to be no motivation and stuff....and I no longer have the zeal. Most of the time, my head is so low, its sweeping the freakin lousy field.
Funny thing is, as I sat at the bus stop looking at the 8 guys left, stroking the ball and playing
attack vs defence I kinda wish I didnt leave.
I'm realli confused. Realli.
Out.
Hit the road jack
The past few days have been rather uneventful...but well I think I've realised something bout myself...
I'm realli slacking...
For example todae, I actually slept for bout an hour in the store from 4-5pm, haha, was realli tired since wasn't used to having my tank so empty anyways...bleargh. Lately I realli think I'm not doing anything good in office. Well I'm not reali ignoring my work or anything but the thing is, I no longer have the zeal to work now...
I really feel bad dat phil the man has to cover my ass, for example todae cos I had to go for tution he had to make his way down to set up command post when its actually my job, shit man, I realli hope I can find that enthusiasm again and that sense of pride in myself to start working again.
But on to other things....
Singapore Idol Spectaulars Round 3 - Disco Night
And I was there! Thanx to my dad, me, uni, phil and his friend yunxin got ticvs to go. It was realli nice but it was just too bad that we had to seat in the upper balcony instead cos the lower gallery was reserved for the friends and family of the idols...cock.
Anyways me and phil did a lot of scouting lar,. spotted a realli hot looking crew member, spotted maia and sylvester practising, and well basicaly roamed around TCS, just to try to find a food, and seats in the lower gallery....ultmiately we gave up, and just decided to enjoy thew night...
There's not much I could say for the night except for the fact that it realli sucked, except for the last 3 contestants, who were maia, olinda and taufik, the rest were realli crappy, surprisingly daphen, who actually looked better, put up a credible performance. Sylvester gave a rather lame version of Disco night, as I mentioned to Phil, i do think that the no good ah beng is getting more and more complacent and arrogant since he noes he can get away wif sinsging below par. There were so many girls cheering for him...dunnno wtf for also. Yun Xin said he was handsome, oh my gosh, it was really like hitting me in the nuts, twisting them, then stuffing them into my throat.
What an insult.
But ok lar, since he supposedly trying to look like a jap rocker and stuff. Uni said she thought he had a good voice. Obviously she hasn't heard my friend jeremy, who is bout 10-15 times better than he is confirmed lar... aiyoh, anyways FYI, jeremy is magic wif rock songs, maybe someday i will record and let u guys hear...
Anyways, beyond the last three, I thought Jerry was as usual his bad old self, and he deservedly got booted out a few hours ago, although I kinda miss him now that he's no longer in the frame and I have nobody to boo, I mean in every story always gotta have the antagonist right? Leandra was realli off colour, and I almost thought she would not survive, but thankfully, she scraped thru. I guess Singapore Idol is really cut throat lar, a bad performance could be your last.....unless of cos u are chris or sylvester...sorry i refuse to call him sly, that's too english a slang, he looks more like a kok beng or Lee Tat or Ah hong....
Chris was absolutely horrendous, and well has proven once again that choir boys will always be choir boys, no doubt his mom is a vocal trainer, but well, sometimes a bit of the raw talent is needed to give the versatility every singer needs...
Karaoke Finals
Anyways the karaoke finals are on Sunday. Phil went to buy a close to $20 dollar CD for the wetlife karaoke. gReat. Now Im really under heavy pressure to make sure the $20 i will eventually pay him is not wasted. I'm realli nervous cos I dunno if I can pull it off lar, competition is quite tough, and though I think I can hit the notes, you never know what may happen on dat day. I'm realli crossing my fingers, but at the same time I'm running the scenario of me walking away empty-handed again and again so I will not be too upset if/when it happens.
Fingers crossed.
Anywayz tom is Maju and Im realli dreading it lar, as usual I got another busy weekend coming up, especially that Sunday. Ouch. I got a meeting wif Rif, followed by tuition and karaoke at night. Nemind I gotta stay focused. Am realli tempted to give Maju a miss, but I guess ultimately I'll still drag my ass there.
Sigh.
It might be you...
That was the title of the song today which I sang at the SPANS KAraoke...
It was a good experience lar, and I managed to get into the finals which will be on Sunday. I was realli nervous and I went to the toilet about five times from 1900 to 2100. The funny thing was that once my performance ended, I no longer wanted to got to the toilet. But anyways the competition was quite good, I swear, half the guys there were better than Jerry Ong. Most sung Chinese and Malay songs, and only a handful of us sang English songs. Actually it was quite ok lar, I liked the crowd, cos they clapped for everybody, which is not wat I can say for the crowds I've played for with the incidentals. Perhaps the only thing I couldn't stand was all the smoking lar....I mean I realli hate cigarrette smoke, and there were shit loads of people smoking.
My performance was ok lar, I was a bit nervous but with Phil's guidance and somehow having him around actually calmed me down a lot lar. Realli hope he can come for the finals. I managed to hit all the high notes, and did quite a lot of adlib-ing. But its all over now, and well the impt thing was dat I got into the finals. When they were announcing the name I actually thoughtI wouldn't get thru but thank god I lar. I was the fourth name called out.
Nerve-wrecking.
Anyways I wanna thank a few people.
Phil
I felt guilty for draggin him along, but im glad he came anyways lar. He helped me analyse the competition and gave me a lot of tips. He even helped to critique my performance in the office today.
Haha....all the shit we do in the office. Thanx a miliion man.
Tengku
Thanx for all the encouraging words. And when it comes from someone who is a great singer himself, it realli means a lot to me. Before I left, he told me "
Practice ah?" And I def will man.
Anyways David Yeo actually popped by, and I was kinda start-strucked. Haha, stupid right? Felt like shaking his hand but well wanted to act cool and all.. HAha stupid me. But he didnt like put on any airs lar,even though ppl were obviously noticing him.
Before I went off I saw this "notbad" girl, and she smiled at me. I smiled back.
"
You sang realli well."
Haha, I love this mini moments which flash by in a second but u never forget.
Well, finals here I come man.
Out.
How did we all end up like this?
My life at Maju
Yesterdae I had perhaps the worst game in my life. I think I'm realli beginning to hate life at Maju. I don't deny that there's a great bunch of people out there, but I just disagree wif some things that happen over there.
Yesterdae, at half-time, Ting singled out a few of us and claimed that we were "playing amongst ourselves".
Bullshit.
I mean seriously does he thnk he was talking to a bunch of kids? We had been playing soccer for so long, as individuals, in teams, and here he was accusing us of trying to be selfish. I was exteremly disappointed wif what he said, and I couldn't get it out of my mind in the second half and kept thinkin if we were doing so. I bet dat thought didnt even cross most of our minds till he said it. And Ting even played himself at centreback, and to be honest I think it was a pathetic game. The line was far from controlled, and when u think about it, RP scored with perhaps the only chances they had in the game. Ting kept wanting to take it all on his own, be captain marvel, ever so often breaking the line just to go up and attack.
Wateva.
I played a wretched game, and missed a sitter or two. As I told Jerrard yesterdae, I realli am disillusioned by the whole thing, I mean I do care about Maju hell of a lot, but the roller-coaster of emotions that I'm going thru is too much. Is this all worth it?
I realli don't know. I probably do noe deep inside me, but just don't have the courage to face it just yet.
Anyways on a brighter note, Damu, Jerrard and Terence gave me some consoling words lar, and I realli appreciate it. I realli admire how much more drive and determination they have. And belief! Which I sorely lack now, and is realli making me very disappointed in myself. But as things stand right now, I'm still not sure if all this is worth it. Its just taking too much outta me, that I can stand.
Maybe I should just stop living under the illusion that those great days wif VJ can be relived somehow in Maju.
Hmm....I think I've gotten a bit of clarity after dat sentence.
Out.
Take a bow.
This was actually supposed to be posted on Friday morn but one thing led to another and finally get the chance to get it up now. Btw Jerry Ong is still in SI. Congrats Singapore.
The End of and Era
Yesterdae after 7 seasons, Buffy finally ended. I slept around 0230hrs after the 2 hour season finale on STAR World. So sad.
Spike died.
Anya died.
And the whole of Sunnydale just collapsed into a giant crater.
The series ended with Buffy smiling as she and the rest of the survivors, wind in their hair, sun on their faces, gazed at the crater that was once Sunnydale. As the credits rolled for the last time, and the music played, I reminisced and was actually quite sad bout the fact that Buffy had ended. I mean I had been watchin the show since I was in lower Sec. I remember being/and still am super infatuated with Buffy. In fact I used to carry around a picture of her just to look at now and then in my green school file. Oh well those were the days, I lost a bit of touch in season 6, but I pledged to catch season 7 no matter wat. But anyways, u noe sometimes there are just these TV programs that accompany you thru the years, and somehow all that rushing back home, all that staying up late was worth it for that one hour a week of Buffy. Well to me at least it is lar. I'm sad that I will never see the group together again. Buffy, Giles, Willow, Xander, Dawn, Angel,Cordelia, Spike and Anya. From the early days of fighting merely vamps to the super demons, and the first evil itself in the last season. Wow, its come a long way.
I hope perhaps when I'm 30 or 40, they'll have a re-run of Buffy on some obscure channel, and I'll def make time for it. In the mean time, I hope to see James Marsden who played Spike, star in some movies or TV progs and hope to see Emma Caulfield, who played Anya too. And of cos, i'd def wanna see Sarah Michelle Gellar realli soon! Sigh, i miss watchin Buffy already.
Damn u, Freddie Prinze Jr.
Singapore Idol Spectaculars(Round of 9)
The show yesterdae was simply horrendous, all the way from the start to the end. And to make things worse the judges seemed to be pretty oblivivous to the whole situation. Sure some ppl. say, "If we don't compare SI to the American version its actually pretty ok." Bullshit. To put it simply, there is always a need to compare...and since when don't Singaporeans compare anyways? Singaporeans always compare, cos they wanna be ahead of the competition.
However, its obvious when it comes to SI, dat we seem to be living in a bubble, and most of the ppl, like the judges and those who actually bother to vote, seem to be living in an illusion that the standard of SI is ok. Lets face the facts, its not. Ok, sure I mean people like Olinda and Leandra still had some promise as of yesterdae, but c'mon as a whole, if and when we do unearth our own Singapore Idol in December, are we gonna kid ourselves and think that she/he might actually be able to compare/compete with the rest of the world?
Frankly I think that the judges are not playing their part, giving unhelpful comments and seeming to be pretty pleased with the standards. I mean you don't have to criticise, but at least keep the contestants on their toes so they keep trying to improve.
Ok, for example, David Yeo is getting worse by the week, I think him jumping around the stage yesterdae like a fuckin monkey is not doing him any good. Taufik, though initially promising, will not improve much without the judges' proper guidance and feedback, i mean have u listened to the original version of Jerry Lee Lewis' "Great Balls of Fire"? Taufik really gave a rather limp performance. Sylvester sings "You Ain't Nothing but a Hound Dog" like he's singing a Bon Jovi song. Ok, I guess he's making it his own, but more importantly, he is not showcasing his flexibility. I mean would u wanna listen to his CD, if everything sounds like Bon Jovi?
I'd just buy a Bon Jovi CD. Better quality, better looking.
I thought Maia was ok, at least she gave it a try to sound like rock and roll, but well still can improve lar. Oh and she was actually from my primary school! Yikez!! My mom was shocked knowing that the tattooed, single-mum was from Yu Neng Primary. And she was actually a prefect. Funny I didn't noe her even though she's only a year older than I am.
Then of cos, we come to my favourite man, Jerry Ong. Anybody who saw his performance yest would agree that he truly deserves to be kicked out tonight. But oh well, he prob won't right? Pitchin off....bad voice texture, bad rhythm ,and he coudn't even hold a simple note long enough at the end. Plain amateurish to me. In fact I think if he entered VJ Music Fest he prob wont make it into the final. He looked like such an idiot prancing around on stage, I felt embarrased for him.
Oh well, I'm writing this in office & gonna email it back and then publish later, I dunno whos gonna go off, since the competition is so so unpredictable. But wateva it is, the damage has been done, the standard is realli going down the drain, but well, I guess for every idol whos left now, there's at least bout 10 more talented ppl who just prefer to remain anonymous. IIts just too bad these "idols" dont put in the same effort into performing as they do into milking their image.
Well, even if they are, it sure in hell ain't good enough.
Thanx for everything guys. Will never forget u.
Out.
Life...oh life...
"Eh phil, do u think life is really fucking unfair?"
"Yes"
"Really meh? Don't u think at the end of the day it all sorta equalizes or something?"
"No lar...I mean there are people who can be sick all their lives."
And so my day at work ended wif this conversation. What Phil said did make sense. Life was really dat unfair, and of all people, I was the one who ignored this fact and kept believing that someday, life will be fair again, for me and for all.
May be it will be, maybe it won't. The game of life.
Anyways I decided to put up this poll thingey so
please help me fill it in. I really wanna see what ppl think. Even if you're just surfin round, and have no interest in me, and don't know me at all,
I would like to hear your opinion. So please do, please vote.
Man, this is so US Presidential Elections.
Out.
Don't look back in anger...
Today was like the longest day in the office in a long time...
Have you ever experienced a day when things moved so so slow? Well I'm sure of us have. And each painful minute passes like an hour...sigh. So it was dat today seemed to strecth like forever. And when I tried to get a 15 minute nap after lunch in the office store, COlin just had to come in and disturb me at the 14th minute of sleep....I mean dat deserted hell-hole is usually left empty for hours sometimes days on end, but somehow the 15 minutes I chose just had to be disrupted...
I guess its at times like these when u noe dat it just isnt gonna be your day...
And sure enough, just as six o'clock appeared on the horizon, calls started coming in, things suddenly had to be done, and in the end me and phil left the office late...
Thankz.
Poison
Today I was thinking bout this very hard. I realised that I realli realli cannot stand ppl who are pampered, who like to live off their parents, who can do anything and get just about anything not cos they earned it, but cos of their parents. Yeah yeah those Paris-Hilton-ites....yuck.
But well I noe a lot of ppl around me, I hate hearin bout these young kids that own their owncar.
Oh wait a minute, their parents got it for them.
Some, if not most get chauffered everywhere. Some use what they want when they want. And well I noe there are ppl who dont want to be pampered but eventually are by their parents. I guess its a "bo-pian" case for them. But for those who complain cos "they dont have their own car yet" and pull a long face when they have to pay their own phone bill, omigosh..
I feel like taking that silver sppon outta your mouth and stuffing it up your ass.
Honestly I do.
Why am I so angry?
Well I guess ultimately , to be true to myself, I'm jealous lar. I mean who woudnt wanna be pampered right? I guess if not all the time at least a bit. But the truth remains dat I wish I were pampered. I wish I didnt have to pay my own phone bill. I wish I could give my dad a call and ask him to pick me up after soccer training or something, and he would no matter where he was.
But I noe it wont happen.
But I guess its alright, cos learning the hard way is realli making me a very frugal person and I've taken an amazin dislike at making my parents pay for anything. I've realli learnt since I stepped into sec 3, what it means to save, and how precious both money and time is. I can't rem when the last time was that I realli took the time off to spend on myself.....sigh..
Oh well, I hate being jealous of ppl, and what they have that I don't, but I always do, and its like this stupid poision thats lying at the pitof my stomach making me cringe now and then...
But well struggle is good. Cos it realli teaches u a lotta things. Things money can't buy, and success wont NECESSARILY bring.
So ppl, for those of u who haven't, its time to start living your own life. U noe, trying to pay and work your way out of things by yourself. Its time to start taking the burden of your parents' shoulders. Be more aware of things around you, and dont complain when u dont get what u want. Cos dats life.
Oh and if anybody sees my dad, please tell him dat giving his own son a lift now and then is not a sin.
Too much anger for the day az. (please note this is in no way directed at ANYONE at all)
Out.
I've paid my dues...time after time...
Finally....
It was in 96' that i realised the gravity of Singapore leaving the Malaysia Cup competition, and my heart turned to
Tampines Rovers FC.
Finally here was a club I could call my own. And I knew exactly what the
merseysiders, the
scousers, the
tynesiders all feel week in week out when they support their team. Somehow when the team comes from where u grew/are growing up in, it just means so much more.
It wasn't easy at the start, as Tampines were cellar-dwellars in the first season and finisehed seventh out of eighth in the second. Coaches came and went, Hussain, william gallagher, des bulpin....
Then came Chow Kwai Lam, under whom the stags won the Singapore Cup, the firt major trophy for the club since the S-league began in 96.
And as I write this, I'm happy to say that Tampines Rovers have done the League and Cup double.
My Tampines Rovers.
Somehow when I come to think of it, it was worth all the snide remarks and the criticisms, from people doubting Tampines, to ppl doubting why I'm even following local soccer.
Its all worth it.
Anyways, Tampines took the lead with a great goal by
Tan Kim Leng, whose energetic runs realli inspired me. But he strikes me as a loner though, maybe the team don't like him cos his wife is so chio. Home equalised just before the break, through Indra. At this point I was a tad uncomfortable.
The second half ended scoreless and we went into extra time. Funnily enough there was no golden/silver goal. So Tampines went on a rampage. First up was
Noh Alam Shah, then
Mirko Grabovac tapped in. The last was scored by
Azlan Alipah. And to make it all the more fitting
Steven Tan provided a sweet cross for Mirko to score, in wat could be his last time in action in local soccer. We will miss u Steven!
4-1 it all ended. Tampines Rovers FC were the Singapore Cup Champions of 2004.
A special shout-out to Sufian, for coming along wif me. I as realli afraid I would have nobody 2 go wif, as ppl around me had stuff to do. Luckily I called u, and there was nothing better than watching a game and sharin a laugh, and my joy with one of my closest friends of 8 years. Cheers bro, I owe u one!
Lastly a salute to the Stags.
Pics courtesy of Tampines Rovers Official Website
Rezal Hassan
,(my man of the match), Azlan Alipah ,Choketawee Promut
(call him up to the Thai team!!),Satria Mad ,Zaid Juma'at ,Sead Muratovic
"the serbian rock" ,Nazri Nasir
"captain marvel",Tan Kim Leng
"the horse",Noh Alam Shah
"the bull",Mirko Grabovac
"you've still got it" ,Steven Tan
(4eva super-sub), Zulkarnaen Zainal ,Azhar Salleh ,Ismail Fitrey ,Santi Chaiyaphuak "
ran your legs off" ,Mustafic Fahrudin
"hell-of-a-player",Hafez Mawasi ,Aliff Shafaein
"cili padi" and dont forget Rafi Ali
(resident jester, we missed u today).
In a football world where players are just getting younger, one things for sure, nothing beats a team full of ppl who run for each other.
Remember ppl, always believe in what u love.
Hope springs eternal.
Out.
Why does it always rain on me?
Actually I wanted to blog yest night but my brain wasnt workin too well lar, felt realli shack after such a busy day, so here I am, 12 plus on a gloomy looking sunday....Think its gonna rain soon.
Oh wait it just started raining. Crap.
I've never liked rain, I would rather have things hot and sunny than gloomy and wet. Its just not me. I guess the only exception to me and the rain was when me and Pri walked back to eunos in the rain. And it was torrential man. Thank god my papers and files were ok, but sadly enough my handphone, though was still in god working condition, no longer emmitted any sound. But dat day was fun man, though a bit crazy. But, well only the ppl u trust most will be able t coax u to do such crazy things.
SMU Movie Marathon
On Friday night I made my way to Newton at 7 plus to catch the movie marathon at SMU. It was meant tor aise funds for the YEP project that UNi is going on. Well, I felt
incredibly uncomfortable since I was in a totally new environment. But well for Uni I guess it was reasonable. There were probs from the start, since teh rpojector wasnt working properly, and to make matters worse, the use of pirated DVDs meant hang-ups in the video. Eventually, the first movei we watched "
Not Another Teen Movie" had to be stopped after 20 plus minutes, and to think that I was actually gettin into the story. However, the video was so bad, and the images becoming realli screwed up, dat they had to stop it. We then proceeded with "
Pirates of the Carribean" which was a movei which I watched before. Nonetheless it was equaly entertaining and had a good time watching it. After Pirates I decided to head home wif uni, since it was already 12 plus, and well I wasnt getting any more awake, interested or comfortable where I was.
However....the food was good. Realli good.
And the girls aound were quite hot. There was this girl whom Uni said was a good soccer player, and well she was hot lar.
Even Uni said so. Oh well....just observin dats all.
My Busy Saturday
Saturday, or yesterday rather, was an extremely busy day. It started off in the morn with Tuition in Changi. Then I had to rush for a meeting at Suntec Tower Two at 1330hrs. Of course I was eventually bout an hour late, suffice to say I had never been this late in my whole life and realli regretted trying to squeeze so much in so little time. Then from there it was another mad rush on a cab to Maju, and thankfully made it in time. We won the final 5-1. And I think I had a reasonable game lar. My thanks go out to
Jeremy, Shaun, Terence, Damien, Khai, Faiz, Shafiq, Fauzy and Kevin. U guys rock man, wat a good win it was!!! So now I have my first medal from Maju, hopefully we will progress from here. Then I had dinner with
Jerrard n
Jeremy @ Al-amin, now a favourite hangout, and we then headed for the 2245 show of
Resident Evil 2. I must say the movie was not bad, and well not only did I get to see Milla Jovovich....I got to see, what I must say now, my
new hot babe of the moment Sienna Guillory. She looked damn good lar, and somehow I think I'm quite a sucker for this kinda tough-girl character, and watchin her and Milla fighting was
nice.....i mean NICE...
So if you have time on your hands please look for Sienna Guillory, she should so have played Lara Croft, in fact she should have a spin-off or something.
And guys, if u wanna watch Resident Evil 2,
please go wif other guys, and not a girl or your gf. It wont work.
haha, just my male hormones acting up again, sorry bout dat. Dont breathe a word to Uni k?
pleaseee.....=p
Anyways tonight is the Singapore Cup Final. And i hope to go, just need to find a friedn to go wif. So if you're reading this and dont have anything, gimme a ring k?
Wah...I'm really damn thick-skinned.
K wateva...this weekend is passing to fast for my liking. Crap.
Why? Why? Why?
(pics courtesy of singaporeidol.com)
Btw, Yan just msgd and will be ging to stadium with me. And the sun is out!
Out.
He's...too sexy for his PANTS....
Yesterday was a good day, for a few reasons.
Switching Off
As usual I was put in the Ops Cell(for those guys who dont know, just imagine a hole in the ground, ok fine its carpeted and all, and yes there's a TV, but well basically its a really isolated place underground), where the worst thing is you cannot get any reception for your H/P. But anyways, I calmly opened the Laptop up and kept myself company, watching American Pie 3 and 13 going on 30. Not to mention the occasional game of EURO 2004. Hahaha, oh well, I was bored what would you expect me to do? But I realised that I could really get use to ebing alone and keeping myself company. Oh well, I hope 20 years from now, I will be in my own office, playing some funny computer game as my employees(ok colleagues) slave outside....happy thoughts happy thoughts...
Pizza Hut
Yest Phil gave us a treat at Pizza Hut. As expected, it was delicious, and unfortunately, as tempted as I was to order another serving of the drumlets, I resisted cos the bill had already come up to 93 bucks. But it was really nice lar, not much ppl, and as usual Colin aka Garfield had to shamelessly go up and ask if the fruits could be eaten for free. Haha..Thanx for the meal Phil. Gilbert asked me if I would do the same on my b'day, then I realised that if I were to treat ppl, I would have to give 4 different treats to the diff groups off ppl, which knowing my tight budget simply might not work out. But anyways, if all goes well and my finances keep flowing in, I will prob get the 6 Gs ready by January latest. And no, I'm not buying drugs or anything, they're for my university fees in the first year.
Phil's Present
Yest at about 1755hrs, we all entered the regulars' office for a "meeting" regarding some upcoming matters. However it was all a plan to get Phil in and take some rather unflattering pics of him. After I locked the door, I gored the poor dude, and though I must say he put up a struggle, a combination of a flexcuff and Garfield putting some Judo moves on him was enough to keep him immobilised. So down went his pants and I took a few photos with my HP, and Victor took with his digi cam. What a great moment, and looks like my scheming worked.
I should realli consider a career in this kinda thing, I think I'm good at it.
Singapore Idol Spectacular Round 1
Of course I was giving tuition at this time, but my ears were tuned to the TV too... Well the cock-up-ness of the whole show reared its ugly head when Gurmit announced that Candice Foo pulled out due to "personal reasons". Oh well, I was disappointed since I thought she was rather promising. Anyways from what I heard, let me give u the lowdown.
Leandra kicked things off, and of course I instantly knew that her voice wasn't suited for the song. Then came what 8 days called
"Jesus-Thanking" Jerry Yeo, with a painful, souless rendition of Leader of the Band. Honestly, I think he can really make it as a voice talent on Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon. Umm....Jerry? That thing you did, you know quitting your job to become an artist or something?
Well....it was NOT the right thing to do.
Hmm, well the others just came and went,
Taufik was decent, and so were
Jesse, David and
Sylvester...but hardly outstanding lar.
Chris tried to hard to become a Josh Groban, honestly I think dat Shanghai dude from the Unsung Heroes show would have pulled dat off better.
Daphne was horrendous, honestly I don't know how she even got so far, her voice is much too helium-my for me.
Olinda was not bad, one of the better if not the best. But her short hair, refusal to wear dresses and inclination to sing men's songs is getting to me....hmmmm....
Anways I was thinking and realised dat Singapore Idol is really so far off the mark from the American versions. I've seen and heard so many ppl who can sing much better than the 12 finalists, ppl like
Jun, Clara, Darrell,Justin and Jeremy. Even
Fong deserved to get in at least to the second round
based on his voice alone. But the thing about them are that they would rather not take part in the comp, which as I'm slowly discovering, is becoming a revelation of wannabes, ppl who wanna make it big, and not a comp which is unearthing true true talent.
Ben eio is the perfect example, Echo Boys, NS Idol and then Singapore Idol. I mean ppl, if u are seriously good enough,
just send a demo tape to a recording company, send it to more, i don't care....but
singapore Idol is not the way man. I hope I don't go back on this stand just in case I get pulled to go audition for next year.
But I think I won't lar, I'm happy making music where I am.
I do see the Singapore Idol a year from now, but not on people's CD sleeves, not on my friends' MP3 playlists, but instead on the gossip pages of 8 days, cheap fodder for the media, and of cos...who can forget the
President's Star Charity?
Prove me wrong, all 11 of u.
Out.
