Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Today was our match against the combined team of the BBall girls, and the PE Dept ladies, and surprisingly, there was even some male presence in the form of Mr Wee and another dude. Wat the heck, we lost 3-2.

I was realli downcast after the match, and I had so many thoughts runnin through my head that I actually left the team waiting for about 5 minuntes before starting my post-match briefing. Anyways, the match is not what I wanna talk about, letme leave that at the door, cos any amount of bitchin about it aint gonna change a damn thing.

But well, after today,prob won't be seeing the girls for quite a while, say 5 weeks? And dats quite a long time for me I must say. I will realli miss making my way down to school on afternoons and puttin them through their paces. Don't get me worng, I'm not a sadist or wateva, just dat I think coaching them has changed the way i see things, allowed me to apply the things I've learnt, and also make frendships and bonds which I never knew would happen. I think that all the girls, in one way or another, have changed my life some what, and I'm realli appreciative of them. All of them are as much players as they are little sisters to me, and I've learnt to somewhat look after their interests although I must say dat at times, I've not been a really good coach.

Coaching the team has been my greatest pleasure, yet sometimes its been my greatest pain. Everybody knows me, as someone who hates losing, in any circumstance. I accept losing, but I absolutely HATE it happening. And well, being wif the team saw me eating a lot of humble pie, and also swallowing the bitter pill of defeat a lot a lot of times. But somehow, I've learnt to grow from it. The determination, willingness, and the pure passion the girls have are like a drug to me, which drives me on, to continue coaching them. And without a doubt, I would gladly not have any CCA, if it would mean i can at least see out these girls, if not year after year, just these girls out till the end of 2006.

I never thought this coachin stint would mean so much to me, but it actually does, cos for that 2-3 hours dat i spend wif the team, I forget about everything else, no troubles, no stress, I get stress from the math itself of course, but thats better than anything else from outside.

Oh well, now dat the season has finally come to a close, its time to consolidate my position in university, to get my stuff and projects going, and to work on establishing the CCA for good in VJ.

Here's to success in both.

Out.

posted by Me @ 12:03 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Today was my first day at school and it was realli nerve-wracking cos I realli didn’t know wat to expect. I reached school at about 315pm, and the first person I saw was SMU President Howard Hunter, ouch. I was looking rather stupid, cos I was waiting for Uni to come over to the school from the business block, and there wasn’t like any tables or such to wait around….so paiseh.

Then came Kelvin to save the day, felt a little bit more comfortable. We then proceeded to make our way to the classroom which was supposed to be SESS Seminar Room 2.3 . In our anxiety, we actually went into Netwroked Seminar Room 2.3 and received a few weird stares from the students and the prof, who did look quite a bit like Dr. Hall Newball. LOL.

Anyways, after a speedy exit we headed over and I caught sight of Cecil. So soon enough we were left waiting for the Prof as the students piled up outside. Wen Duan was also in my class, and so was Hussein, so it wasn’t that bad. After a round of introductions, we proceeded to the lesson proper.

My prof for Econs205 is Prof Lee from Korea. He’s a super nice guy, and loved to pop corny jokes. Which funnily enough was so corny that everybody laughed at it. Then again, knowing this man was th difference between a 4.3 or 2.0 GPA, I think it was better everyone laughed. I must say that I am satisfied with the preparation I made for the lesson, and I managed to follow all the way through without losing sight of stuff. Of course there was the occasional lack of understanding, but somehow the 3 hours that was put aside for Econs205 meant that things went at a very comfortable, absorbable pace which I like. I hate it when we have to rush stuff, especially since my Mathematics concepts and basics are not really there.

But in the end I believe I managed to grasp all the stuff taught and I think tonight just gotta re-read and see if there’s anything left, and if there is I might have to drop a mail/a call or seomthing. Noentheless having cecil and the rest of the guys there was a big calmer to my nervous heart seriously.


Well after dat it was off for tuition in Pasir Ris, I was quite happy I managed to concentrate the whole time during class but the trip to Pasir Ris and the subsequent lesson was hell. I felt really really drained.

Thank god though I managed to last and after dropping of Uni’s book, I’m finally back home. Wow, 1 day in school never felt so long. But it’s a good start.

Out.

posted by Me @ 11:42 PM 0 comments

Well, its been about close to 3 years since I learnt I was spending my time in NS in the police force, and subsequently leading to a collapse of self-belief and my constant reminder of being a failure.

3 years later, and its finally here, my first day of school, my chance to be back on par with the rest of the human race. Somehow I knew in the police force no matter how hard or how best I tried I could never ever have any chance of going anywhere, and right now, well I'm finally here,bout 3 hours away from the first lesson.

And somehow, even after all the expectation, all the preparation, I suddenly feel realli super like shit now, maybe just nervous lar i guess, what with the quality of students in the class, i mean dont have to look far, kelvin and cecil are already here, so well nuff said.

But i think it'll be ok. I noe at least 3 people now in the same classes as me so its not dat bad. I've made my necessary preparations, and I've been telling myself, for close to 3 years now, dat I MUST MUST MUST not waste this chance. I already wasted the A levels, and well I dont wanna start about that, but a lot of shit transpired dat i regret.

Never mind though, now its time to look forward, my stationary is bought, my clothes are ready, PC is ready, notes read, and orientated to school already.

GAME ON.

Out.

posted by Me @ 12:35 PM 0 comments

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Ok im back, its been a great past few days I must say, and I'm happy with how thepast few days have been turning out, so let me update you on stuff.

VJC Girls Soccer

Yesterdae we played our final game of the tournament against TJC. Things didnt turn out as planned cos BOTH aramia and Audrey weer injured and could not play for the team. Oh well, what a bummer, already at the back of my mind i began to think if today was our day anyways. Anyways we got there on time, and with everybody in a decent mood. I had to sub Bee Teng in on the bus, and she was a bit unprepared and all, saying she wasn't in the most confident of moods. OH my gosh, I was really panicking by now. Shi Ling was a bit better and she was ready to take on the job.

The game started off decently enough, and the first half was not bad, we were dominating them, but in typical fashion weren't really able to penetrate. Their captain was given the runaround by Tan Xuan on the right, but both were equally good, and thus checked each other out of the game.

SO half time came and Salome was a bit down, naturally cos she was missing some simple clearances. little did she know that her performance was gonna turn legendary in a while. I decided to ask Steph to shoot more, and to start feeding the balls on the left. TX was shifted to a more defensive stance to contain any attacks.

The second half started and a mistake from the corner gave TJC the lead. I swear the crowd was wild, the TJ guys juts kept cheering it was so fucking irritating i tell u, but well at least they suported their girls so they should be proud at dat. I was feeling realli down by now, and I suddenly realised, shit, don't tell me we're gonna have another undeserverd loss again.

However, subbing Christl in was a great move, and her cross led to the keepers' fumble which led to my captain She Fong to tap in the goal. 1-1.

Game on.

This was when all the chaos started. In came Shu Yu and Wai Yen for Christl and Charmaine, and we switched to a defensive formation, double line defence. Ppl were so god damn confused and with the crowd on my nerves it was downright crazy ohmigosh.
Shu Yu was still blur and all, and then Shi Ling went down from a heavy tackle. She was in a bad way, and when i got to her on the field, she was sobbing uncontrollaby. Miss Tan came on the field shortly and I took the opportunity to tell the girls individually wat they had to do.

The game resumed and we were bombarded, Wara came in the picture, and we played like heroes, all of us, it was crazy i tell u, absolutely crazy. We were bombarded but our defence held strong, Wai Yen made a superb save, and the ball was trickling to the goal line, before Salome, in one swift action cleared the ball away brilliantly, i will never ever forget that moment, it was pure poetry in motion.

Anyways the match ended 1-1 , and though with TJ feathers ruffled, I felt we gave a good account of ourselves, and I'm happy. The girls deserve all the credit, they fought wif every single bit of energy they had, how can I ever leave them like this?

Uni

This girl is amazing, simply amazing, cos she loves and cares for me unquestionably, so much so, sometimes i fell im taking advantage of her, she's DAT nice. I will never be able to find another girl like her and I hope I never lose this gem of a girl. She stayed back to help me wif my laptop, which was a fucked up piece of shit thing, and now everything is ok thanx to my Uni. I'm so proud to have her. Oh and I discovered shes a great singer too, but Uni being UNi always so humble refuses to acknowledge this. LOL.

Anyways, im going back to reading up on my econs again, i will write soon, its gonna be a tough few days seeing that SMU is gonna start soon and soccer is approaching a watershed moment also.

P.S. Whoever anoy. is pls share your identity wif me, no worries k? I always welcome ppl. readin my blog.


Out.

posted by Me @ 11:30 PM 0 comments

Saturday, August 13, 2005

I just got back from the match NYJC vs VJC. Well not exactly just, actually I got back, ate lunch and watched "What a girl wants" on HBO. Hahaha. Well, the bottom line is that the girls lost 2-0 to NY. But dats not wat worries me actually, cos the girls played realli well. Too mcuuch for me to say currently lar, but nemind i shall leave it at that. The NYJC coach actually came up to me before we left and said her girls didn't to win. Haha, first time that happened to me as a coach and I shall take it as a compliment. But seriously the girls did play their hearts out, and I am so proud of them cos of how far they have come since I first saw them, and I am very very happy with what has transpired.

Its so funny rite, how could I be saying this? I'm Azrul, a guy who absolutely hates hates hates losing. Heck, I hate it so much, and always take it so hard, so I dunnoe why I'm saying the above but I mean it. and thats why I'm loving wat I'm doing cos it has somewhat changed me a bit and I'm happy. Now I know what I wanna do in life. I do.

I wanna work with young people.

Haha as if I'm so old like dat. BUt working with the girls and for the CS project (Tiles That Bind) and of coure tuition always brings me so much happiness, cos I'm helping these kids and I wanna make a difference in people's lives.
BUT...

Anyways let me get back to why I'm rather pissed, and I cannot seem to rest and take my afternoon sleep.

I am realli facing a very certain prospect that Mr Tan will not continue the CCA, and its worrying me, well cos it means a lot to me, and all, as in everybody has put in so much effort for it, everybody, from WQ, to me, to the girls, to Miss Tan. Is it fair?

I mean he is pissed with the results,but anyways that was the precise reason why I asked him what was his direction in taking part in the competition. And he said, "for fun". Now here he goes complaining and grumbling. Heck some of these girls have barelytouched a soccer ball before, this, and I find it especially unresonable. More so because he is someone I lok up to, and because he has gone through this phase before. Why the VJC Guys Soccer TEam is where it is now is because of all the losses that have made us readjust and readjust till we find a working formula. But now Mr Tan pulls this kinda shit.

I dunno lar, but I'm gonna fight with every inch of my life for this thing to be upheld, at least for the girls, they deserve it. And I shall do my best. Right now I have outlined several key people to approach to push the vote over to my side, and I must execute this fast. Deadline is end of august.

But anyways, thats that lar, I really hope me and Mr Tan can see eye to eye and we can resolve something for this. I hope he understands, and I'm willing to put everything forward to get the job done.

Everything.

Out.

posted by Me @ 3:59 PM 0 comments

Friday, August 12, 2005

Sorry for the late update, its been a while, and I must say that I have had what must be the hardest week in a long time. A lot of problems with the family, with the business, with Uni, with everything lar, in short. Thank god I still have my soccer to fall back on and submerge myself in so I don't have to think so much for at least out 3 hours plus on a weekday, 3-4 times a week. But no it aint enough.

Anyways I don't and am not going to speak about it, not cos I dont wanna share, but more so cos I wanna put it behind me and trudge on. Yes, most of us, are trudging and not walking tall in life, but not many choose or can see it dat way.

Anyways I was thinkin about this.

How do you know you're gonna have a bad day?

1) You leave your keys/handphone, quickly rush down to the busstop only to see your bus, whose frequency is Fd up, drive by

2) You wait ages at the stop when all the buses you don't wanna come actually arrive

3) When the bus comes, its so full and u can't even read the bloody newpaper u bought to read on the way, so u spend most of it staring into space

4) U get on the bus, realise that u don't have change and look into the wallet, only to see that u have no coins, so gotta put in a 2 buck note for a $1 + ride

5) U step into 7-eleven and wanna buy stuff only to realise you have no liquid cash, so youre forced to buy up to 5 bucks of stuff just to pay with ATM


All has happened to me, sometimes almost all at 1 time.

Out.

posted by Me @ 10:06 PM 0 comments

Friday, August 05, 2005

Ouch.

This past few days have been rather complicated cos of the soccer politicking going in the team and it sux. Its a long story n I'd rather not talk about it. Btw, FYI I'm actually referring to the VJ team 01-02, m y team. Politics and tension was bloody non-existent in our time back for the team, yet recently it reared its ugly head and I am realli evry disturbed by it, although after some damage control I have managed to perhaps reduce the tension in the situation.

I guess doing the Biz has realli taught me how to read ppl, and how to influence them in the right ways, how to make sure that both of you are in the same page and ths able to comunicate better, and for dat I am grateful.

Handing Over

So well, WQ has finaly handed over the reins of the team to me, and suddenly, I feel a bit of pressure. Ok I'm lying, I do feel a lot of pressure. One of the reasons why is cos I do get a feeling taht the girls don't really like me dat much. Well, not dat liking me is the most important, but well I don't realli noe if they respect me enough. I mean, for a start I'm called by my name! Which is fine, although I would prefer if the line were drawn clearly betwen coach and friend. Coach on the field, friend off it.

Ok, perhaps I'm over-reacting.

Asking

Today I was about to ask my mom if she could sponsor me with the network card for my laptop. However, the mere mention of it led to a lecture by my mom about me going to the sales and buying network cards then. So i stopped short, and turned away, without asking her about it. Its gonna cost me a good 100 bux plus, so well, its gonna burn a bit, but wat the heck lar, just have to work harder to make ends meet. Its possible. Maybe one more tuition job would help.
One things for sure, if I ever have kids, I'll make sure they never have to do this.
Out.

posted by Me @ 12:00 AM 0 comments

Monday, August 01, 2005

The past weekend has been a rather busy one.

VJC vs HCJC Inter JC Girls

Oh man, let me keep this short, I have lots to say, but to painful for me t even wanna recall. We lost the match 1-0. Played even worse than on Wednesday. Mini absolutely blew his top, and I think the girls are all like pissed wif us or something. SOmething is not right. And its sad.

I shall stop here.

After soccer, I sat down and had a long talk with She Fong. I'm glad amongst all the girls there, I'm at least able to establish some sort of communication line wif her, and we can talk as frends, which is essentially what I wanted in the first place.

After that it was off to tuition, I was feeling so drained from the experience, dat I actually dozed off in tuition, shit damn embarassing.

Justin's Birthday

After tuition met u wif the Fongster and we went to BUkit Timah for Justin's birthday. I had a nice time, it was good to see the whole team still so united after so long. Brilliant. Pushed a couple of people into the pool, standard lar, then went to go makan at a nearby prata outlet together. It felt so great to have everybody, and I think Justin is one lucky guy to have a gf like andrea. Bird sent me home thereafter, was damn grateful for it, and we had our normal nice conversations. I realise dat most of what me and Bird find out from each other over the past 5 years has always been on rides home whether its in cabs, or now in Bird's car.

Btw me and fong came up wif 2 songs which we sang for Justin. Please contact fong if you wanna hear what they are.

Vivace

Today was my first journey to the new campus, and I must say that I realli like it. I feel realli connected with everything, its like its so nearby everything, me and Daniel walked a bit and we were soon at the MRT already. The ECAs were quite fun, and I had a good time. Glad to noe there's actually touch rugby guys, so see how lar, but I also signed up for SIFE and Little League as scheduled. Saw a lot of guys signing up for soccer, and me and Daniel did the same, though eventually joining it will probably not be an option. I shall reserve me reasons till a better time I guess.

Overall had a good day at SMU, was quite happening, and I actually rejected even putting my name down for MCC. 2 good moves in one day. Hmmmm.....

GES

And of cos the highlight of the day for me was going to GES and actually seeing the graduation of my brand new two Eagle Graduates, Cecil and Russell. The feeling of seeing them up there on stage was realli great, I felt so proud of them. And when we were singing "if we hold on together", which was this month's course song, suddenly the words echoed that much louder.

I'm so god damn proud of my guys.

Out.

posted by Me @ 12:46 AM 0 comments