Looking for a light

Finally back from KL.

I hereby pledge no to go for anymore holidays least for the next 8-9 months, though I am looking at going to UK....hmmmm but anyways a few things I cannot stand.

1) The fatigue one feels when stuck in a car, I realli cannot tahan waking up and sleeping and waking up and sleeping, and at the end of the day feel so tired, sigh...

2) No cable - I missed my man u match and Park's first goal! Fed up. And the lackof cable channels means I spent most of the time watching local Malaysian channels (which sucked) and discovery channel, which as informative as it was, got pretty boring after a while

3) The lack of proper toiletries, I didnt wanna load up on toiletries, so had to survive on the hotel's, which pretty much sucked

4) Traffic jams- Which was in almost every part of KL, I cant believe the number of times we got stuck in stupid jams and all

5) Missing Uni - I hate going away cos I cannot hang out with Uni and spend good time together

6) Missing training - Due to a miscommunication, I actually missed my soccer training, whch kinda sux, since I am suppose to conduct it, realli felt damn bloody sore and guilty about this, and I dont know what repercussions it might have

But well, there were a few positives from the visit

1) Great time for the family to bond - playing card games till late, havign many many meals together and stuff like that

2) DVDs! I bough the Lost seasson one for like s$25 and bought red eye and napoleon dynamite as well

3) Free loading off my mom - my bros keep complaining dat I spent the most but all I did was just ask, and received of cos, so I'm realli happy, I got books, sportswear and DVDs, great!

4) Good Food - The food was excellent, both in taste and in price, and I ate like a king ALL the time....even found A & W, which I realli miss in Singapore

But anyways, am a bit weary for the moment, will probably watch red eye tonight, tomorrow is IPPT so have to give my best.

Pictures in a day or two.

Am watching Arsenal and Chelsea now on TV. Looks like the gunners are gonna struggle today cos the bloody bull Drogba almost scored. Now he is trying to claim a penalty.

Idiot.

Anyways, today saw the exit of my team from the beat the street comp, I cant realli recall the scores, but we didnt do too well today. Anyways, even if I remember it I would prefer to think on what we have built upon rather than what we missed. The team has done themselves realli proud, cos the level of competition was crazy. Today the teams were much better, one could see that most of the girls have been playing soccer for a long time. But i think the girls played ok, besides Charmaine, who didnt have so good a comp to be brutally honest, the rest did well, Grace and Shi Ling, were my ever willing workers, never giving up and trying their best. SAlome was a rock, dont really recall any girl dribbling past her in the tournament. I'm glad she has learnt to cope with the rigors of true soccer.

I must say that looking back on this comp, I realise that the standard in the JC Compis realli low, so this comp was definitely useful. Vivian improved today, she followed the game plan well, perhaps her fitness let her down a bit but its all good. Audrey still has a lot to learn, but im sure she will be excellent if she can focus better. Steph was brilliant, think she realli left an impression on the crowd wif her abilities. Rynette did realli well, and was brilliant in goal.

Overall I think we did well, and have learnt a lot from the tournament. For myself, the experience has been enriching, the journey with the team unforgettable. I think from now on I will use a street comp to warm up before the field season every year. I realli restrained myself today from condemning and criticising, choosing instead to encourage them and help them learn form the experience, and Im proud of myself for doing so. I came into thi experience also to develop myself as a mentor and a leader, and I'm glad I'm making some progress.

Nonetheless, the sting of a loss always remains but I'm alright. I believe I have a great bunch of girls. I believe I can be a good coach. I believe that I can turn this outfit into a great team in the future.

I believe.

So girls, you should to.

Out.

Just got back from the first day of the street soccer competition. Wat a journey of ups and downs so far.

First match vs NTU A, the girls were realli big sized, height wise I mean, and were not bad on their feet. A combination of mistakes and plain bad luck meant they trashed us 4-0, had a feeling in my mind that this was just one of those days again. Charmaine had a bad game, and I was kinda pissed but didnt realli show it, I guess this kinda thing happens sometimes, Ive been at the end of it a couple of times myself. but anyways, 4-0 to NTU.

2nd game was vs The Fundamental Elements, funny name, they were not bad actually, but we got our act together a bit better, and Rynette was definitely commanding at the back. Still it was a narrow win, we won by 2-1 and the tournament was back in our control. The girls played a bit better, and confidence was picked up a bit. Interestingly, as pointed out by She Fong, this was our first win EVER, since the team was formed. Sounds pathetic I know, But i'm very proud of the girls. Had to leave Charmaine out, and I realli felt bad about it, but it had to be done.

3rd game was vs The Munchkins 2, and we actually only needed a draw to go thru, but came out firing and won 4-0, definitely a good performance by the girls. Overall I didnt think we were outclassed ina ny of the matches, and did prove our worth.

But tomorrows a much bigger day, the teams are much better, and they realli can play. Some of the girls move like guys I tell u, and was quite a sight to watch. The only sad part is that most of them were butches, Malay ones at that, so, oh man, lets just say I let thier feet do the talking, ONLY their feet.

Tom is a big game, and we have to do realli well. I hope I can crack my head with some effective tactics to counter the ore skilful teams.

To the girls, cheers to all of you, you guys rock, we've come so far already no turning back ok!!

Stop for a moment nd think if you're making the most out of life.

Are u using the talents god gave you? And I'm not talking about the ability to sing, to run fast, maybe to paint well, or just being plain smart, but rather the fundamental talents which we often overlook. The "talent" to see, to hear, to speak, to walk on two legs, to eat with both hands.

We oten take these things for granted, and dont realise how precious they are till one of the two happen.
1) WE lose them
2) We see people close to us who have lost them, and it affects us profoundly

The other day at WSF, a blind woman by the name of Wai Yi was asked what she wanted to do with her life. Her reply was that she was a world class singer, and the tone of her voice resonated with serenity. I felt realli happy for her, but at the same time ashemed in myself, for I knew I wasn't doing everything I could to realli live this life I have at hand.

At times, more so nowadays, I realli feel that I coud be doing so much more in life, but am not, I'm taking everything for granted, almost like I will live forever, but like Larkin himself said, life is indeed slow dying, like it or not, by the time I sleep tonight, I will be a few hours closer to the end, whenever that may be.

I realli regret all those days, hours I wasted doing stupid shit which didnt amount to anything, so I've been telling myself to make better choices, personal choices which will lead to a better life.

So he next time you have time, think if this, or where u are is realli where you wanna be. As you lay in bed, for the last few moments, think for yourself if the day which you just spent was spent well.

"The time is always right, to do the right thing."

Tomorrow, is the street tournament. Doing well is not the only alternative, but it would be good to get a result from here, as it will be a substantial to our portfolio as a CCA.

God give the team strength, determination, desire and luck. Victory is always possible through YOU.

Amin.

Out.

The past few days have been rather eventful, and a few come to mind. Survivor's finale was on wednesday, and i actualli rushed back all the way to go and watch it, and saw Dani win! Yeah, felt god, cos I'm always rooting for the underdog, except when it comes to Man U. But looking at things now, it wont be long before they're the underdogs in the EPL. Bu that story another time, I could go on forever wif dat.

Anyways, Dani looked like almost completely a different person during the reunion! Man she was quite pretty,seems she was a former Miss USA contestant, which explains her height, the wonders of make up. ut anyways dats why its best to fall in love wif a girl in school, cos u noe exactly wat she looks like, and will accept her for it, instead of marrying a girl u find in uni (well some put on HEAVY DUTY shit on their face) and wake up one day to realise u made a mistake.

Monday was team night, and I must say it was realli fun, gave out my awards, and my freaking golden boot fell off its base cos the glue didnt work, damn pai seh. My performance was not too bad too, considering how last minute it was. Haha. But overall I thought it was a good opportunity for the teamto bond, and I must say most of them are realli close, they've been spending the whole of holidays together! This batch of girls are realli special and I will never ever forget them for all they've done. Being a coach has never been an easy job, but i must say I'm lucky to have them as my charges.

The street soccer competition is on Saturday, with Audrey in th line up, it looks realli promising I must say, but can't take it for granted, never noe how good the other teams are, and according to TX, the temas in the competition at Hong Kah CC were quite good, and I've even received feedback that they are quit rough, so realli have to prep my girls. Tomorrow will be the last training for the street team before the tournament and hope all will go well.

I will end of this entry by highlighting the importance of security guards. ALWAYS ALWAYSmake frends with the security guards of a place u noe ur gonna frequent, cos if you do anything wrong, they will be the ones to catch you, so be careful. I shall not elaborate nymore, cos I dont wanna get anybody in trouble, but lets just say that a hello here and there wif the security guards does go a long way to getting help when u need it the most. Cheers, this week has been great.

A big shout-out to my Bedok pal Phil, the one dude who i can joke with endlessly.

What is the right way one should look at his parent/s?

This question was on my mind today when I was reminded of a discussion that happened between Russell and Zhao Bin on the bus back from KL. Russell asked ZB if his father was his hero which ZB replied negatively to, and said that to him his mom was the hero. Rus was rather surprised to this reply, I could tell.

I guess it was lucky he didnt ask me then, cos I would have not given a very different reply from ZB, other than the fact that my mom isn't my hero too.

So is it right to feel this way? Is it right to not realli look up to your parents, to respect them but not revere them for their contributions.

Dont get me wrong, i'm realli grateful for all thier contributions to my life, but somehow, in recent years thier standing, or rather stock in my eyes has fallen rapidly. This is due to many things, but amongst the most major is cause they don't realli symbolise what I would like to be.

I dont wanna be somenoe with poor financial managament skills, I dont wanna be someone complaining about work 24-7, i dont wanna have a rather estranged r'ship with my children and not know wtf is going on in their lives. I dont want this. In short, in many ways I dont realli wanna be like my parents.

This is especiialy so with my dad, of whom I have a rich dad,poor dad r'ship with. beyond respecting him as a DAD, i realli dunno if i can respect him as a person.serious. Ive been going to my uncle for most of advice in life, and i trust the latter's opinion, cos despite what some other people may think of him, he has proven himself and is living a lifestyle I can only dream of currently. oh well.

But anyways, this problem is realli bugging me, cos try as i might, I cant get over it. Cant get over the fact that I cannot look up to my parents tot he extent that i want to.

Save my soul, God.

Out.

This week has been realli tiring, cos I spent most of the week trying to find suitable materials for the awards nite on monday. Ive been to Taka twice, simei, tampines, bedok, city hall, raffles place, oh my gosh, everywhere realli.

The search has been fruitful I must say, but not realli up to my expectations. I still have to go and get some numbers from Taka and something for the Christmas exchange. Sigh.

On another sad note, Our LTB stuff finally came to an end with n overnight at David's place. The food was excellent, after that we watched both shutter and saw, befor I went to sleep, to wake u and scream myhead off at Man U, who have been knocked out off Europe. This is quite a new feeling, cos when I first started watching in '93. realli didnt noe much bout Europe and shit, but now knowing I can only watch them play bout twice a week sux. What the happen?

Also, I've come to realise, that not having Unie around sux, cos I realli dont have anybody to walk around, or chill wif.Well, at least nobody I would like more than her. So perhaps, I think we should also be not very very close, so we, okok I, am able to cope with things if she goes overseas and stuff.

But anyways Ive gotta go and sleep now, tom there will be street training, the comp iscoming up soon, so I'm quite excited, don know bout the other teams, but this team looks realli promising. Also I have to practise for my performance on team night. Im keeping my fingers crossed I won't get saboed, dont hav to dance or shit like dat. Anything but dance.

Out.

Hello, I know its been a while.....

But something about me always tells me not to rid of this blog, things have been rather busy cos I've been stuck at school wif exams and shit. School realli sux, never expected it to be this way. But thank god its over....FOR NOW.

In the mean time though, time has been spent reconsolidating the business and getting things moving again. Also been busy wif the girls and soccer training. Seriously, sometimes I just wish I could train wif them 5 days a week cos it makes me realli happy. I realli dont care if i have to go johor to coach. Id rather do dat. Thats what living is about.

Have you ever considered if you are truly living life? What is living life anyways, I was just reading a blog, and one line realli rang true. It was mentioned that the end of one pursuit leads to the start to another. SOooooo, this hell that is university, will lead to the major rat race in the work place and by the time we end THAT race, we're already bout 55-62 years old. And by that time isn't it too late, would we still be able to spend time with our friends, out watching a game of soccer? Would we be able to travel the world, going to the best of places, maybe going to trek in Nepal or some thing?

I think the only thought in your head would be to sit back, kick back and relax and enjoy your retirement fund. But is it realli worth it? Is the amount of effort,sleepless nights, transport ,money, skipping meals, stress bouts, fevers, fights with the colleague be worth that few hundred thousand dollars or a million that you get after pledging your life in pursuit, in pursuit from the age of 7 till 62?

Is it realli worth it? Is life realli about grades, about promotions only? Would it be so if each of us had a few thousand dollars every month? We dont get good grades or strive for promotions cos we want it, we want the MONEY behind it. And thats what makes life realli meaningless, especially so in Singapore.

And for myself, I'm kinda sad that I have been in this system for bout 15 years already, and not getting any happier. Realli dunno how much longer I can last in this race.

But I've made decision to change my life.

Have you?