Thanx
Thank you everybody.
Girls, I dunno wat else to say but that I love each and everyone of you. You save my life everyday.
To JR and Beng, you guys are the best.
Mini, you are my hero.
Also, thanx for the ppl who tagged, ppl dat i know (melvin) and i dont, whoever you are, I hope god blesses you, the way he has blessed me with your presence.
To Pri, thanx for coming and your support after 7 years, sorry i couldnt deliver this time around.
For now, in the words of freddie mercury...
"Anywhere the wind blows, doesnt really matter, to me.....To me."Its in a million pieces.
Out.
A Personal Reminder
I just have to keep reminding myself.
And (O Muhammad SAW), follow the inspiration sent unto you, and be patient till Allah gives judgement. And He is the Best of judges. (10:109)Pls help the team, God.
We need you more than ever.
Out.
Epilogue Approaches
Wow, one year has come and gone, and tomorrow will mark the last official training of VJSG 06-07, coaches and players alike. As I look back at how things have turned out, all I can say is I feel incredibly blessed because in splite of my numerous imperfections, most ppl have grown to accept me and God has blessed me by always keeping me in check, making sure I don't go over my head.
Every year is unique, and you will never catch me saying that one team is better than the other, or one player is the best I have ever had or whatever, I do not believe in such things, because every person is different in his/her own special way, and everybody is the best in whatever they do. 05/06 was a great year in so many ways for the team and so has 06/07 as well. I certainly hope it can be even greater this coming friday, but unfortunately when I look at it, I do not have dat much control over things that will happen on friday.
I think more than anything, 06/07 I will remember for the experience being a greatly humbling one for me. I have learnt alot from so many people and I realise that I am flawed in so many ways, and in the words of dashboard confessionals, I'm trying to clean up things day by day.
Of cos, at the end of the day, all of us wished it would never end, but everything does have an end, a last chapter, an epilougue, a climax, a final tribal council, a finishing line. All I can say is dat for me, this finishing line is not as important. Wats more important is the fact that I get to cross it with all of you, VJSG, coaches (beng, JR and mini), seniors, Mr Tan, Lofty and God.
Out.
No Rest
Firstly, my one sunday of rest before the week starts again is going to the dogs cos I have to use it to prepare and read and research and what have you before the deadline tomorrow. I am realli running close to empty now trying to balance to balance school and work. And on the tuition front, exactly half of my students are doing well, and another half not so well, sighz, super stressed up now.
Nevertheless, I am glad that yesterday was over. It was a nice day, and ultimately God again blessed us and showed us the road to the final. The match was an intense one, and I was again very humbled and inspired by the TJC girls, and my friend and coach Melvin, indeed Mel you have taken the team to another level which no medal in the world can ever replace and I am very proud of you. Also, we were able to share not a bottle of wine, but good talk over mee rebus and ice lemon tea! I will take that anytime. I heard them singing some funny song about the soccer team after that and it was realli inspiring to me how much strength they showed given the situation.
The team knew how they did, and I also know that they are intent on doing better, just one last time for the finals against SA, who are indeed as strong a team as they have traditionally been. Nevertheless as I later told the supporters, I could not promise anything but the fact that we will all try our very best.
Night time was spent talking to Gavin, who came over to watch the match. To be honest, we spent more time talking than absorbing the match and it was nice to strike conversation so easily. THe match itself was crap and man u din desreve to win anywayz, I only feel sorry for Wayne Rooney, the only person I can say was trying his best in the whole match. The goal was well taken as well, so no complaints there. Just couldnt stand Mourinho gloating about the six cups he has won, can u imagine if Sir Alex did the same? He would not have enough fingers on his hand. A win is a win though no complaints.
At the end of the day, I thankfully have another week with the team, and this will be our last week together as VJSG 06-07. So let us just train our hardest and ensure that at the end of the day, our tanks would have been completely emptied and our hearts full because we know we tried our best and we could not have given anymore.
Onward girls, onward.
Behold! We have given you a clear victory that you may be absolved of the sins of your past and those yet to follow and that the Lord may perfect His favor to you and guide you and assist you with His invincible helping hand. It is but He who fills the hearts of the believers with peace and reassurance and adds strength to their conviction. Allah's are the legions of the heavens and the earth. He alone is the Knowing, Wise.
- Qur'an, Al-Fath, Surah 48:1-4
Thank you God.
Out.
Undone by Penalties
Today has been a great day of emotions. The boys din make it, for the first time in 7 years, to the national finals. And it hurt me to see them crying, and even a councillor was crying, it was realli hurting for all of us. And I did whateva I could to try and pick them up, at that moment, I felt it was my responsibility to pick them up. It was hard to tell them that it was ok, because any words I would say would not make any difference. I've been there, I know how it feels to lose at such an important moment. But I was proud of Hazreen especially, when he told his team that the most important thing was that they did not quit. I could not have put it any better.
I don't really think that RJ deserved to win the match, but we missed a lot of chances too. So a draw was fair in that sense. But it had to be solved, and well looking at our record in penalties, sighz, what can I say. Its RJ and MJ in the finals now,and wish them the best.
To the guys, I'm proud of you whatever the case, don't let the colour of your medal make you forget what you have gained from this whole experience.
On the other note, its past midnight, and closer and closer to the semis, and I am nowhere near sleepy, got a feeling tonight is ognna be a long night, I hope I will get tired and sleep soon. Hope to give a good update tomorrow.
God, pls help the team tomorrow.
Out.
In His Hands
I have barely had time in the past few days to concentrate on school work and the upcoming term papers and what have you, mainly because I have been singularly transfixed on the semifinals this Saturday. Both teams are equal I believe, and whoever decides to fight harder that day will probably take home the cake.
But also in the past few days, its good to have the other coaches and more importantly friends around to help me with stuff. Its comforting to know that we all still stick together almost like we never left school and went our seperate ways after 2002. But its all good now, and the month of may has been a kind one this year thus far.
I also feel incredibly blessed in recent weeks and days, I really feel that God is watching my back and He has protected me, kept me safe, and I realli realli absolutely owe everything to Him. Its tough sometimes, when you have nobody to lean on, but I am glad God has been kind enough to grant ungrateful me even a bit of his attention.
Tomorrow, the boys will be back at CCAB taking on RJ in the semis. Mr Tan told me today that he will not be able to sleep tonight, I must say that I do not envy his position, and thus far, I have been able to sleep decently. But the prospect of getting the worst on Saturday morning scares me, and I just hope that it will not come to that. I pray and hope everyday that the girls will find in them the strength and desire to carry themselves till the end. This bunch are extremely hardworking and I hope that they will go as far as they can, the rest, I believe, are in the hands of God.
Out.
What A Day
Yesterday was a realli interesting day, it was packed full of activities, and my day only really ended close to midnight. I was really tired, more so mentally than physically, but overall I would say that it was a good day.
First up in the morning was the match, in which the bus came late, and to make matters worse, I actually delayed the bus when I realised I haven't printed out the team sheets. Only when I arrived did they tell me they actually printed it out for us in case we forgot. Crap.
The match was a lesson learnt. Kudos seriously to the RJ girls, for always harassing us, never giving up, and taking their chances, and for great spirit as well. Although I was a bit puzzled a guy would not allow us to stand in their half, as in on the outside of the field, but I respected it enough to adhere to that demand. Their supporters were very spirited as well, and I was within earshot of many jibes directed at me. But as I later realised, I would have done the same if I saw some bugger endlessly shouting nearby. I would ask him to shut up as well. Haha, but I guess dats what I am in for, for not being quiet.
Overall, I thought it was a good test for us, and I have a lot of respect for our opponents as well. I forgot to ask though the coach how he could tahan to wear that jacket in the sweltering heat! And with all due respect to SR, who were very happy and actually came up to want to shake my hand after the match (which i of course had to reject), I think that it will be a realli tough fight for them against the Rafflesians. I'm not really rooting for either team though, I think both deserve it and God's plan will prevail ultimately.
As for me, I was very disappointed in myself for one reason, because in the moment that the goal was let in, I was kinda blanked out, and I felt really horrible, but I am disappointed because in all that I failed to care for the team and try to pick them up. I didnt put them down but I didnt t pick them up in the moments just after. However, Beng reacted quickest and Kuan Ren's actions said it all, as she gesticulated to the rest to keep going. Beng looked at me and told me "Bro, 10 minutes, got time," and only with that did I wake my own idea up.
At the end of the day I thank god for allowing me to see things and for reminding me to stay humble, for keeping our players safe and for giving me great people who inspire me. I remember feeling very inconsolable for not being able to live up to my word yesterday, I remember telling myself that a man's word was the most important thing he could own, but what XL said to me thereafter realli rang a bell in me, and told myself that I had to do what I had to do at the time. I realli appreciate it XL.
Thereafter I had to rush to buy assessment books and then to tuition, where I almost dozed off cos I was so tired from thinking about things. Tuition could not have ended more quickly and I went home to get ready for dinner with the rest of the family at some restaurant near Heeren, then it was a mad rush to the Esplanade for Phantom. We sat in the stalls, just a few rows away, had a very good view, cost luckily there were no tall people in front of me, if not sure die. The show was great and the sets were breathtaking seriously, how they simulated stuff and transformed the stage was incredible. Shux though the programs cost 25 bux, which my brother bought and the drinks were mostly wine, so I had to settle for the good old water cooler. Overall though, it was an amazing experienec, my first time watching anything at the esplanade, and was worth everything including the 20 buck cab home. Thanx for the tickets Aunty!
Yesterday was a day where I learnt a lot about myself, and I will do my best to learn from it and become a better leader.
"Our greatest success was not in never failing, but getting up everytime we fall."Remember, Az.
Out.
The Victory Within
Sorry if some of you tried to look for my blog and it appeared locked. Or something, truth was that it was not accidental, I had to get some realli heavy stuff off my chest, which I knew was gonna hurt people I care for, so I decided to get it all typed out, published it and then I just deleted it.
The past few days have been hard for me at training, I realised why I get so frustrated all the time nowadays is mainly due to my own expectations and benchmarks, which I know are unrealistic at times, sometimes I kick myself thinkin why I must want the girls to play a certain way, when they should just play the way they can play.
Sometimes when I come to think of it, feel like slapping myself in my face, I know I sure canot tahan this type of coach, although Mr Tan was like dat. "Was" ok, now he is a changed man, hahaha, as in honestly he is, but after the shirt tearing incident recently, must say that he still got the knack for it.
I guess I'm just hoping and praying the girls will ALL realise their potential, because they have so much of it. So I hope you all understand where I'm coming from, I wish I could say I'm happy with things, but I would be lying. If there comes a time when I am 100% satisfied then I am not doing my job as a coach, at least in this journey that hopefully has yet to reach its climax. I guess I do come across as being someone who can never be contented, and it sux.
Which brings me to yesterdae's chat with Miss Chua, my lecturer, whom i gave a ride home to
( in a bid to make up for coming to class late), and I was telling myself how much I hate being the person I am in training, and how it was causing a lot of conflict in me. And I promised myself that by the end of the season I will be able to find myself, and a good balanced style of doing things. I hope.
The past few weeks have been positive in terms of results, we are 3 pts away from the semis I believe, as of now, and although the play has not been fantastic, I have to give credit to the fact that we have come away with the desired results. I think ppl like MT and JJ should be credited for coming out with noteworthy performances thus far, I hope the rest will follow suit soon.
But as i said yesterday, to truly win this season, to truly be victorioius, we need to look at ourselves and think if we have done our best and conquered ourselves, our doubts, our fears, our weaknesses, our deficiencies, our egos. I believe I am still a long way from it, and I myself desperately want to discover this victory within. I hope with God's guidance, the girl's never-say-die attitude, and the sturdy frames of JR and Beng to lean on, I will be able to become a better person, I truly want to.
Oh and before I go, a shout out to all the seniors like
Charmaine, Christl, Si Hui, Shi Ling, Grace, Wai Yen, Sara, Bee Teng, Tan Xuan, and Smith, seriously I am always filled with joy seeing how you guys will take the trouble to come and support the juniors, it means a lot to me, and I'm happy that you guys are so proud of them, because I am and will always be proud of you guys. Thank you for the support.
But for now, time to focus on the next game.
Out.
