Comfortable
I've listened to this song since I was like 18 I am not wrong, and only today as I was listening to it for the umpteenth time while waiting for the bus, did I really concentrate and listen to the words, and realise the true meaning of the song. And yeah I realise the little nuances in the song which I never realised before.
I din realise before this that he actually was with another girl, and that he was actually not fond of her, but yeah now its like so clear. Ha, its amazing sometimes, just a few minutes of clarity can help you understand something u never bothered with for close to 8 years.
I just remembered, that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down, aisle 5
you looked behind you
to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave.
Can't remember, what went wrong last September
Though I'm sure that you'd remind me,
if you had to
Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
I sleep with this new girl
i'm still getting used to
my friends all approve,
say she's gonna be good for you
they throw me, high fives
She says the bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was, so dirty
Life of the party and
she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguishMiles from Coltrane
Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect,
so flawless
or so they say, say
She thinks I can't see the smile
that she's fakin'
and poses for pictures
that aren't being taken
I loved you
grey sweat pants,
no makeup,
so perfect
Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
I'm not impressed,
I want you back.
-John Mayer, Comfortable
Out.
Note to self
Sry just a moment of catharsis from me.
Why do all of them just insist on letting you down? You think at times there is really no point giving your heart away if everytime all you are doing is setting yourself up for failure, for disappointment, for resentment, for despair, helplessness, a myriad of negative emotions that you cannot even to label but only feel and realise that it exists because you wake up each morning feeling like taking your heart out, giving it a nice clean scrub and forgetting it was ever damaged.
Why do they always think that they are the only ones whose heart was hurt, that everything that has, is and will transpire somehow only happened to them and that they didn't deserve it. Then again who does? Surely you don't as well.
Somehow, after 26 years you would have think that meandering through matters like this would make you more hardened, more seasoned and less susceptible at being hurt. But at the end of the day you are still that same vulnerable young boy who gets his heart cut deep. Its always like that.
So now you're faced with 2 choices.
1) You carry on, getting yourself into things that will keep hurting, you don't forget, and you embrace everything that comes your way, you love, you hurt, you laugh and you cry, you live each day not knowing how high or low it might take you
2) You don't think about it,and you decide to leave it all behind, your lonely, you don't have companionship and kinship, someone to share a life with, BUT you know that nobody can hurt but yourself and that will be the best bet at staying happy
The choice is yours, but just remember that everytime you feel happy, you are just a step away from losing it all and coming out of it with nothing.
They don't get it don't they? You're not perfect but neither are they?
But its always your fault, and your burden to carry.
Out.
Perth's Great Storm
It started off like any normal day, I reached school in the morning for a meeting as well as Advanced Psych class, but my mind was slightly on edge cos of the Data Analysis Mid-term I had later on in the day. The weather was fine, even slightly hot, an it was the last thing on my mind. Also, Monday is my rest day, so I don't really think about the weather cos I know I wasn't gonna go out and run or whatever.
Anyways, the DA exam started at about 4pm, and I went into the comp lab, ok lar relaxing, I saw the questions, was a bit nervous but I knew what I was doing and started the paper pretty smoothly. About 1/4 way through, I heard a thump in the ceiling. Now at this time, I heard the win howling outside, so I figured it must be something like flapping against the ceiling or the wall. Then I hear more and more thumps and in about 10 minutes it turned into a complete riot! It was really noisy but I just kept telling myself that it was probably something knocking against something else cos of the win and nothing else. I mean being in Perth has been eye-opening in terms of how ferocious the wind can be, but other than that it was no surprise.
Then the door to the comp lab opened slightly an the prof was asked to go out. Again I din pay any attention to it, I was really focused on the exam, and then he told us we had to evacuate the building. Now this was the first inkling I had that it was something more major than I thought, but again, I just dismissed it as like a safety precaution. Having been raised in Singapore, we are used to the concept of being Kiasi, so it was nothing to me.
Then as I walked out the door, it struck me. The front of the school courtyard was covered, absolutely covered with branches and leaves. The open field beside the school was white, with hail stones. I was damn shocked, never seen hail stones that big before!
I went back inside school and grabbed my bag to go out and leave, hahaha little did i know this was just the start of the whole thing. I met my friend Ali, who lived close to school, and his car was half buried in water. But he told me to hurry home cos another storm was coming. Rushed to the bus stop outside school and you could really sense things were gonna pick up again. Rained like shit, and I was drenched despite having an umbrella. Couldnt even go use the underpass cos it was flooded knee deep in like cold icy water. Absolutely incongruent this whole thing was, so jay walked and waited for the bus.
My bus trip takes about 11 minutes, but we were stuck inside the bus for 1hour 10 minutes. Everywhere around me, I saw cars on kerbs, trees fallen down, flooded driveways with cars under about a meter of water. Traffic lights all down. It was absolute chaos. Inside the bus, it was different though, cos all the uni students were inside so many of them were talking cock, and I just listened in. But the bus driver was an idiot! First, he didn't turn off the aircon despite ppl shouting at him to, cos I mean we were all wet, so naturally the last thing u need was air con. Secondly, he refused to open the doors until he was right in front of the freaking stop! WTF!!! And I mean when your stuck in traffic, 10m could take 5 minutes.
Crap, anyways I called Colby, and he agreed to fetch me, which was awesome of him, cos when we reached home......
about 1/2 the house was soaked in water, even though we lived on the 3rd floor. Cos we have a skylight in the toilet, and obviously it broke with the pressure of the hail stones. Water also came directly into Colby's room, and his whole room was a mess, soaked in water. The Balcony doors also sustained damaged and water came in. Still I am eternally grateful to Colby for abandoning his salvage efforts so he could take me home from the bus stop, which was about ten min walk from home.
Anyways, all in all, wat a day dat was seriously. Never seen anything like it, and I spoke to a lot of locals about it they havent seen something like dat for like 20 years.Even then what shocked everybody was the freakish nature of it! It just came without warning.
Now about 4 days later, the underpass is still flooded, as the water will probably take about another 2 weeks to completely evaporate on its own. Most ppl's cars look like golf balls with dimples and such, and the UWA winthrop building, the centrepiece of our university's architecture sustained millions of dollars in damage cos the windows were gone. Smashed. The greenhouses all smashed. Arts library flooded. Landslides also caused some houses to be almost buried in mud, and hundreds of thousands of homes were without power, some still don't have power cos of the lightning striking power stations. in Altogether I think they said the damage is in the hundreds of millions. And the insurance claims will only be sorted out completely 2 years from now, that's how long a claims list it is.
Just grateful that things are back to normal, and dat we don't have to fork out any money. The house is still a mess now as Colby's room is still drying out (4 days later). But yeah its ok. Thanks to ah beng, uni, ben leo for asking me how i was. I am just glad im safe, and more importantly there were zero casualties. Here are some photos for you guys.
The school field covered in hail stones and some ppl playing with them.
The hail stones in my hands, after melting for about 15-20 minutes, imagine how big they actually were.
Streets covered in leaves and fallen branches.
A pile of hail stones near the school walls, it was really like as if God switched on an ice-maker.
My friends car which survived the hail, but not the water.
Well dats all for now,
Out.
Its
saturday night, and honestly there are some good movies on, but just
dat I din wanna watch them cos I've seen them already (the departed for example, seen it twice, and the original infernal affairs as well). So yeah just decided to pen my thoughts on the past week.
1) Fees going up for uni - again. I hope my brother can get a scholarship or something something that
will help my parents out, cos its tough man, one of the reasons why I
don't really favour having kids. The cost of uni is
realli enormous.
2) My ankle getting better, luckily cos of the quick response to the injury, I feel almost as good as new, less than a week later, but I am not going for soccer tomorrow cos I still feel I am one bad tackle away from an even worse injury, so gonna give it the skip
3) Running has been good, doing some research on how to improve my running posture and stuff, and its hard
to change it, but I feel it getting easier to make certain changes to fine tune my running and all. I realise that after a while your fitness can only improve so much, and its all about finding the running economy needed, looking forward to the 30click run in June, but in the mean time its all about making all these small changes
4)
Facebook statuses - I know i
shouldnt complain since I read it, but sometimes I feel that
FB statuses of certain
ppl are just cries for attention, I dunno I guess to each his own, but honestly I guess it just satisfies that voyeuristic need inside each of us
I will stop at that for now, keep my posts a lot crisper and tighter that way. Got an exam on Monday, the first one of the semester, so been preparing hard for it, on top of getting other stuff done as we get into the middle month of this semester. Its been a month since I've been here, and yeah 3 more to make things count.
Out.
I am BACK
Hmmm, I know i know, its been like about 3.5
months since my last blog post, I
always wanted to do it, although I told myself that I
wasn't gonna blog much when I was back in Singapore. So yeah, I remember Phil requesting that I start again and I will! But I guess I will keep it shorter this time around, cos I need more time to do work. But
basically since school started, this is the first patch of space to breathe in, cos its just been such a rush since I've been back here. So let me put in
pointform, the things that happened
over the past 3.5 months, just for a quick catch up, and I will slowly elaborate on certain points as we go along in the year.
1) I came back for a
pre-meditated but surprise visit back to Singapore
2)
Didn manage to do the one thing I wanted to do cos of certain complications but spent my time training the boys team instead, which was a gr8 pleasure
3) Had plenty of private free lance work going, including lecturing which took up a lot of my time when I was back
4) plenty of complications, ups and downs on the personal life front
5) Spent a good time totally disillusioned with whether it was the right thing to come back
6) Came back to
perth refreshed and ready for the term
7) Inundated with work from
Singapore at the same time, so
was quite hard to cope
8) Finally had time to settle my
Singapore work so am now focusing on my work here in
UWAHmmm, I think that is basically it for now, in terms of the significant things that have happened so far. I will try update more I think I will set wednesdays as my update day, will see how.
Anyways, till later matez!
Out.
