Looking for a light: March 2007

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Face Down

Great song, now you noe what i was talking about.

Sighz

I hate to expect, to look forward to. Cos there is every chance that it won't happen.

All I can say that in recent days, my faith has been tested, and in somethings I have lost it. Sad lar, but I never thought it would happen yet its funny how things can turn out to be. And no its not the team (i noe your readin this and you think it may be).

Realli need the mental strength to carry on, realli thank god for fridays when i can finally take a breathe from the whole week. Also cross country rox, cos u can do one race for a few teams, dat way u can ensure you dont have to hold back and can give your bestest at one shot

I appear to be so sure of what im doing but in truth im freaking clueless.

3 words.

Emo like shit.

Out.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Perspective

Ok quick one, this week will be a busy one i think, due dates, term papers and tests, oh well, all I can say is part and parcel, and I'm still puzzled how time has flown, was just yesterday when I still thought I had a few weeks for term papers, now I only have bout 4 days, and 7 days respectively. But then nevermind, least for now, my tuition schedule has not required any extra days, so for dat its still ok.

Alright, alright back to work now, readings and typings, urrgh, I hate this time of the month just before school starts again.

But, more importantly, I guess there could be a million worse things that could be happening to me instead of an increased workload so its ok. Always taking things into perspective.

Out.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Tman

Yesterdae I was just thinking about how the T-man was towards me and the team. as usual I was greeted by some bad news early on in the morning when I heard that rach had to be taken out of the team cos she was late for school. Personally, I do acknowledge that she needs to work on her punctuality. But surely there is a better way, why take her out of the team? Will that solve things? Shouldnt she b instead maybe made to come earlier to school for a week, something like dat? I dunno. And the Tman said that its cos he doesnt give college reps any chance. Ok now dats where the discrepancy lies, when it comes to blue slips, or bus booking or funds, somehow we dont get the same treatment, but when it comes to this, ok college rep. also, why the continued comments? Some are rather uncalled for although I think, and certainly hope he is joking.

Sigh, sometimes I think I am taken for a ride simply because he knows I will not protest or do something stupid, which actually is very true, nothing much I can do actually but bite the bullet. So almost every week is spent fighting small fires throughout, sux if u ask me, but wat can u do. I realise that he has also changed in the sense that he seems to talk up the team rather than not talking about it at all, and his individual players as well, which is kinda unusual, I feel that the last thing one should do is talk up his players, at least not in front of other people, cos then word will spread, and your players will know and take advantage of it.

But but, aiyoh I should stop now, I hate talking behind his back, of all people his, because i truly owe everything to him. Nobody actually knows what or why I seem to owe him dat, but I know why, and I will stay loyal and rust him, just as he does in me. Although the Tman realli makes it hard sometimes, I must never forget that without him I would be much worse off,and he is helping me live my dreams.

Out.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Throwback to Lighthouse Family

I liked this song from the first moment I heard it, and I think its a good happy song, dat reminds me of Lighthouse Family. Simon Webbe's not doing too bad for an ex-boybander.

I been sitting in the darkness
But the sunlight’s creeping in
Now the ice is slowly melting
In my soul and in my skin
All the good times my friend
Are coming around again
Oh yeah

I been thinking reminiscing
Of better nights and better days
Hiding in a refuge
Of memories I've made
I got a feeling within
It’s coming around again

We been so long waiting
For the all time high
We got a damn good reason
To put your troubles aside
And all your winter sorrows hang ‘em out to dry
Throw it away

Gotta throw it away
All the colorful days my friend
Are coming around again

That’s right
Yeah yeah Mmm

I got someone waiting for me
It's been so long since we met
And I may not be your salvation but I’ll offer nonetheless
And if like me u wanna take that chance
It's coming around again
Ooh yeah

We been so long waiting
For the all time high
We got a damn good reason
To put your troubles aside
And all your winter sorrows hang ‘em out to dry
Throw it away

I can feel a change of fortune
No more riding on my love
Feel the weight is off my shoulders
As my feet become unstuck
And all the good times on which we do depend
Oh it’s coming around again

We been so long waiting
For the all time high
We got a damn good reason
To put your troubles aside
And all your winter sorrows hang ‘em out to dry
Throw it away

Out.

Everything

Finally I have time to draw a breathe.

What a past 3 days I've had, with the camp and all, and prior to dat running around everyday till almost 11 to look for boots. Oh and by the way, yesterday night I actually dreamnt that we found Nat's boot and I was holding it in my hand. It was rather small, but i was so bloody happy. Then I woke up with a smile on my face which kinda faded quickly when I realised still havent go it. But dont worry mon, I will sure find the pair, even if I have to go out of the country. Thanx for the patience.

Anyways, it was a realli tiring and trying time for me, I had to put aside so many things that this coming week is actually even worse cos of all the things that I have to pay back, starting from 1320hrs, but ok lar, I got about one more hour to catch my breathe before double session of tuition all the way to the night.

I feel that the camp could not have been done if ah beng wasnt around to help, in a million ways, all the way to the camps last moments, when things come to a head. So I have Ah Beng to thank for everything, JESPER MOTHER BAIK!!!!

Other than dat, I dunno for myself, I have mixed feelings about certain things and stuff, Im happy for the team, and I think all of you are fantastic individually and as a team. Indeed Together Everyone Achieves More. I also have all of you to thank for always trying your best, and Im sorry for all the mistakes made, I noe some ppl din agree with stuff which happened, but what happened in camp I shant mention here. But I realli am deeply deeply sorry for my inadequacies. I shant attempt to justify anything instead I just wanna apologise and say that I will do better if given a chance next time I promise.

But I just wanna say that the team always does me proud, gives me my daily fix of being high, being proud. People who know me well enough that everything is not so well in other aspects of life, but dats for me to solve. But each time I come for training and spend I just know that its all worth it. So yep, all of you guys, VJSG and Beng, you guys mean everything, and yeah at this moment seriously everything to me over here. I wish that all you guys will live your dreams cos it means that I would have lived mine.

Yesterday, in the middle of all the hustle and bustle of racing, I took a moment to draw my breathe at Jln Besar. Brought back a lot of memories, and I pray and hope we will see it again.

Dont Emo?
Hmmmmmm....

Out.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Semangat

Phew.

Today, I woke up damn early and rushed to school, to watch the girls run. And i can only say one thing. Long long ago, in VJ soccer, there existed this thing called "semangat", or team spirit. Semangat manifested itself in many ways, through the many singing sessions, through the carrom and instant noodle nights every friday, through so many things which bonded the team together. We truly loved each other like brothers, and we did not want it any other way, It was the year the loft unofficially became ours, and we swept everything in sight, from the track to the performance stage and of cos the socer field. But we would throw all those trophies away because the team was so much more important than that.

Today it finally returned. But this time to the VJSG. It was semangat, Ulrica was right, at the end it wasnt Jaslyn's legs which propelled her, but it was the endless cheers of her mates, which pulled her to victory. And the superb/sia lar cheer after dat. Haha, now that is the sound of the best faculty in VJ, SOC FAC. hahahahaha. Im always so proud of the girls as we won the inter CCA relays against the more established teams. I mean after all, we are still a recreational CCA. I wont wanna realli give a blow by blow, but all the girls did their best and dats wats most impt. I was realli impressed with how KR gobbled the rack up though, dat one I have to honestly say. But other than dat, It was brilliant from start to finish.

HOWEVER, WE MUST STAY HUMBLE.

So im very proud and honored to be part of the team.

Other than dat having to break to Cel the news today was hard, i dunno why it realli is, I was actually struggling wif it and Cel was damn cool and calm, which helped me along. I realli tried my best talking to mr tan even till just before lunch but he just wouldnt give in and the battle was lost. I have so may things to say about Cel, but i shall hold it for another time, cos now im quite a mess thinking about things and all, this week has been a hard week for me emotionally, what with problems with my personal life and my family and all. But its ok I will definitely pull thru.

All I can say is dat nothing feels better than seeing a team with SEMANGAT. It is positively back.

SUPERB, SUPERB..... SUPERB.

Out.

Looking for a light