Just thought that I'd write a short entry on the futsal game i had on Wednesday, before its lost from my memory, what with all the other things going on around me. That day our game was against the Raiderz, who were like 4th, so we knew we were up for a tough opponent and an important game.
But yeah it was a game to remember for me cos I scored two goals, one with my left foot, and the other with a bicycle kick. Haha yeah, seriously, I couldnt believe it, that I managed to do it again. I think some of you reading may remember that I had actually done one in the UWA season last semester, and I remember saying that I don't think I will ever do it again in my life.
BUT!
Well it all fell into place, we seemed quite relaxed that day, although I wasn't sure if it was cos we were confident, or it was because we were taking things too easy. We conceeded a goal in like the first 30 seconds, a deflection off steve took ashley the wrong way, and we were down in a matter of seconds. Not a good start.
My first goal was a tap in, after Soren shot fiercely from the right flank, I remember telling myself to stand closely in hope of sticking my foot in, but the keeper got a hand to it. Luckily though, I didn't switch off, and managed to use my left foot to sidefoot it home from close range. I am really happy with how much less scared I am of using my left foot these days. I must admit its still pretty shit, but at least I am not scared of using it anymore, and I know if I continue trying, I will get better at it.
The second goal came, as the defence pushed up and I sneaked behind them. Of cos in futsal there is no offside, so it was basically me and the keeper. My back was facing the keeper cos I wanted to see where the ball was, and Soren chipped the ball high into the D. As the ball was in the air, I knew that the only thing I could do was to bicycle kick it, cos if I turned and volleyed it I would probably end up hitting the keeper, who would be out to claim it. This time round though it was harder cos the ball was coming from a height. Last semester I chested the ball up, so I somehow had some control over the ball prior to the kick, but this time round I had to try and get it in the air.
So i tried, and it caught the tip of my toe, i collapsed in a heap of cos, turned around and saw the ball in the net, the keeper had been going one way, and I had managed to send him the other way. Was really really happy, and JT went all the way to my side just to give me a high-five.
Don't get me wrong I am not trying to blow my own horn but I just wanna keep these memories in my blog, so that when I read it a few years from now, I can feel happy and look back on these fond memories. Isn't that the purpose of a blog anyways? Like a diary to look back upon and cherish?
I really am enjoying playing at Lords and with the guys. Its funny cos they are so much bigger than I am, and all European, and the opponents are all caucasians as well, yet at the same time, I feel good cos I am improving. I've never been really good at futsal, or small-sided games, but I think joining the team and playing in the comp has been good exposure for me. More importantly the physical nature of the game has made me a stronger player, and I have been able to apply it to trainings on Sunday.
Sometimes I have to pinch myself, to be able to play soccer so often, and pursue a high level of education, it feels nice.
Its been one hell of a past week, and I have had a million things to do, but thank God I managed to pull thru, so let me run thru with you the things that I had to do this week.
1) Lessons It was back to school again after a week's break over Easter, so it needed a bit of readjusting, although the Easter week was pretty much packed, and lessons started again, so had to get used to the usual lecturing and listening thing going on. I am realli happy I am left with just 6-7 weeks more of lectures an sitting down, and listening. Basically one-way input. Profs always say they want a proactive and interactive atmosphere, but at the end of the day its just a token question or two, and you spend most of it listening, so here's to a life of meetings, research and independent study. Realli looking forward to it. 60 more days!
2) Exams Had two exams, Advanced Psych of sport, and Reserch Methods, and I came away from the paper feeling ok enough. Not supremely confident, but yeah at least I knew that I understood my stuff and did my best in answering, so overall it was ok. I struggle a bit in studying for advanced psych though cos of the limited time I had, I realise its tough when you have two papers, and you can't realli study hard for the later one cos you have your mind fixed on settling the first one. But yeah, a 4 hour sleep did the trick, and I hope I come away with decent results. I realise I have set myself high expectations, but I don't doubt they are achievable if I put in my best.
3) Running This week's training saw about 61km worth of running, which I am fairly happy with, managed to do a negative split on most runs, and that's always an important thing to me. The 20km run on thursday was especially sweet as I broke under the 30min mark to reach the top of kings' park so that was good, although I think it was partly due to the fact that I realli whacked from the start. But yeah running is good, and it was a good ending to my pre-season part 1, so this week is gonna be a bit more relaxing before I go on pre-season part 2. By Sunday though as I was doing my recovery run, I could really feel myself struggle as the mileage for the week had taken its tool on me. That being said though, I am still a long way off from being able to run 2hour plus runs comfortably. But I will get there.
4) Soccer At first I realli din want to play on Wednesday, cos of the exam on thursday, but when one of the players had to pull out, i really felt obliged to turn up for the team, especially since we have been getting stronger and found some form in the comp. Plus the fact that my Danish friend Soren could give me a lift there and back meant that I would have needed 1 hour of my time tops. It was a good decision and we won 6-2, which puts us nicely in the upper half of the table. Training on Sunday was also fun, cos all the regulars were around, and despite being quite exhausted from the whole week, I had a good training, and enjoyed myself. I am quite sad to be leaving the team in like 6-7 weeks time, especially since I may not come during the finals exam period.
5) Work from home I had some stuff to settle from home, I actully have been working on a contract basis with projects from home since I have been here, and had some fine-tuning to do with this project which is especially tedious cos its government related, so yeah really had a lot of things to settle. Also had to settle some recommendation letters but it was all good. Recc. letters are easy to right because most of the time you write them for the people you genuninely like and respect so the words just flow.
All in all it was a heck of a week, and I really tried my best to chill out and lay back a little during the weekend. Right now back in school its back to the hard work but I am taking it in my stride. I think it really makes a difference to be able to do something one loves, cos it builds up a certain amount of resilience in yourself. I ask myself, would I want to be studying anything else? The answer is no.
I just managed to catch a show on Aussie TV on SBS. SBS is a cool channel its something like national geog, history channel, discovery channel all rolled into one, and its free! So there are the shows I like such as mythbusters and Man vs Wild, as well as "boutique" shows ( i call them boutique cos they are like rare, and don't have much commercial appeal) like hitler's bodyguard, a show on the assassination attempts on Hitler, a show about toys around the world, forgot the title, and one i just saw about an attempt to form a team of disabled peopleto take part in the Sydney to Hobart Ocean race.
It was realli inspiring to see these ppl try and do something that a lot of us more abled people probably may not dare to.
Which brings me to the point of this post. There are times in the day and in my life where i absolutely despise the way i am. Don't get me wrong, self-loathing is never good thing, but there are times when I hate myself. Let me explain.
Sometimes things don't go my way, and those of you who know me and my life well enough, will know that the odds are sometimes against me, and I do have the right to complain.
But when I do see people who are truly struck with misfortunes that were never their fault, and not complaining about it, I just and i honestly do, start scolding myself for being a very ungrateful person. Some people are born blind, some born without limbs, yet they don't complain. And i feel horrible really when I think about the times that I feel my life is not good, or good enough.
The truth is people, there will always be others who are better off than you. But the point of this, is to remember that there are a lot of people worse off than you as well. And this is something, at 26 years of age, I still need to remind myself everyday.
And in a way it has motivated me to look at certain things when I get back home. I realli feel I haven't contributed enough to the community at large. I love what has happened at VJSG, and I'd like to think that I had a small part in it, but yeah I think its also time to move on to affecting larger people.
At the same time, I need to constantly remind myself of how lucky I am, and I hope you do too, whoever you are.
I saw a wheelchair bound guy today, who got rejected from being on the crew, and he said, "I think about this and of course I'm disappointed. But I look at myself, and I remember how lucky I am. There are so many people worse off than me, and 99 percent of disabled people aren't as lucky as me." - this coming from a man paralysed waist down.
I was just humming to myself this song by RHCP, seroiusly one of the finer bands around, AND one of the few bands I've actually managed to watch live. I realli like watching things live, but due to my cheapskateness, I dont actually get around to watching them unless I find it really worth it.
The song is called "Don't forget me" from their "By the way" album.
I love how the song switches from a low energy laid-back vibe, to a realli high octane performance, and of course with John Frusciante's screaming, moaning solo ( super sad that he has left the band), wat more do you want. And of course the signature strum of muted strings on Flea's bass guitar. I also love the dark imagery they use to describe his relationship to the girl, its kinda dark, yet in a morbid way actually longing and romantic in nature. Realli cool.
This is the live version from their show from Slane Castle. I love how they always always improvise when they play. I remember them playing at Singapore Indoor Stadium, and how they just seamlessly switched from song to song, without stoppping at all. Musicianship at its best. It realli made me realise that all the skill and talent cannot make up for this inate chemistry and musicianship that a lot of the bands who have been around for a long while have managed to attain.
Brilliant song.
I'm an ocean in your bedroom Make you feel warm Make you want to re-assume Now we know it all for sure
I'm a dance hall dirty breakbeat Make the snow fall Up from underneath your feet Not alone, I'll be there Tell me when you want to go
I'm a meth lab first rehab Take it all off And step inside the running cab There's a love that knows the way
I'm the rainbow in your jail cell All the memories of Everything you've ever smelled Not alone, I'll be there Tell me when you want to go
Sideways falling More will be revealed my friend Don't forget me I can't hide it Come again make me excited
I'm an inbred and a pothead Two legs that you spread Inside the tool shed Now we know it all for sure
I could show you To the free field Overcome and more Will always be revealed Not alone, I'll be there Tell me when you want to go
Sideways falling More will be revealed my friend Don't forget meI can't hide it Come again get me excited
I'm the bloodstain On your shirt sleeve Coming down and more are coming to believe Now we know it all for sure
Make the hair stand Up on your arm Teach you how to dance Inside the funny farm Not alone, I'll be there Tell me when you want to go
I actually have sometime on my hands rite now, just letting the dinner go down a bit, so I decided to write a blog entry about the websites I usually visit when I am online. I think all of us have a general list of webbies we go thru when we have time on the net. I dunno, I'm not the sort of person to surf randomly or go to random blogs. So here we go!
(in no particular order)
www.redcafe.net
This is a popular manchester united forum, and its realli reall active, so there are always new things to read, some really good articles put up by fans as well.
My Mail!
www.hotmail.com
www.yahoo.com
my.uwa.edu.au
My two normal emails, as well as the UWA mail, but yeah I guess I should list them down even though its pretty obvious.
www.soccernet.com
This is a must go, cos yeah its got some pretty good articles, beyond just the match reports, the columns by the writers are a must read. Thus far, gotta be the best soccer website there is around. The gamecast feature is pretty useful as well, its pretty comprehensive and gives you almost instant updates of the matches, so I usually tune in to gamecast before moving to watch the last 15 min on streaming.
www.singaporedaily.net
I used to go to different websites which were concerned with singapore politics and matters at home. Then i went to this webbie, and realised they did a good job in actually collating all the different pieces of news about home, as well as pieces from different blog sites. Sometimes the pieces are realli quite extreme, but yeah i always believe that there is no smoke without a fire, so there would be some truth somewhere, just a matter of how you interpret it.
www.stomp.com.sg
Ha, pls dont judge me on this, but realli when you have nothing much to do, you tend to wanna look at the voyeuristic side of Singaporeans. But yeah its a crap side so strictly just to pass time.
www.wikipedia.org
I go to this site almost all the time, trying to look at cool facts behind movies, and its always kinda cool that you will find something else to click on, and it just goes on and on. I dunno how true the stuff on wiki is, but yeah its always nice to read.
www.redsports.sg
I used to look at this site a lot, but then there haven't been much coverage on sports in vj so far, so I go less these days.
www.bolasepako.com
A site that I go to to catch up on local football news, the guy is realli committed to the blog, and its realli heartening to see his efforts on it.
www.tmz.com
www.pinkisthenewblog.com
Hollywood gossip anyone? Yeah I head here to read about stuff happening in tinsel town, which is pretty interesting at times. TMZ especially has like updates by the minute, live streams and stuff like that. Pretty cool, and of cos always good entertainment.
Hmmm, i will leave it at this for now, cos i need to go and do work. Hope you take some time to look at these sites, if you're ever bored.
I love this song, it reminds me of so many things but yeah just thought that I'll put it on here, cos the words are apt.
Regina spektor is awesome.
You are my sweetest downfall I loved you first, I loved you first Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth I have to go, I have to go Your hair was long when we first met
Samson went back to bed Not much hair left on his head He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us The bible didn't mention us, not even once
You are my sweetest downfall I loved you first , I loved you first Beneath the stars came falling on our heads But there just soft light, there just soft light Your hair was long when we first met
Samson came to my bed Told me that my hair was red He told me i was beautiful and came into my bed Oh I cut his hair myself one night A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light And he told me that I'd done alright and kissed me till the morning light, the morning light and he kissed me till the morning light
Samson came back to bed not much hair left on his head Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one And history books forgot about us And the bible didn't mention us, not even once
I hate trying to sleep after a man u loss. And I am officially not going to Burswood to watch anymore soccer, my record there has been abysmal, so I am just gonna stream stuff or go to Alex's place for cable if worse come to worse.
Honestly though, we din deserve anything out of that match, maybe even a draw would have been too kind for us. I dunno, I am just trying to be realistic. But its pretty much true.
There used to be a time when I saw man u lose, and I consoled myself by telling myself that at least it wasn't VJSG who was losing, and it worked realli well. But now that that part of life is gone, its much harder to deal with it in dat sense. Although I would say I don't really take it as hard. Perhaps I guess at least in reference to yesterday, there were other more pressing issues that were making me more upset.
So i slept at about 1130pm, and woke up today at about 10 plus. Not bad lar, almost 12 hours. Today theres gonna be a soccer friendly later and then I am gonna spend most of today doing work I guess, nothing much else there is to it.
I guess on a bright side of things, running this week has been better, I hope it will get better, but it was good this week, getting a rhythm, and covering about 54km throughout the week. I guess the key will be to just hold this so that by the end of the month I would be have covered 60-65 in one week, which would be a good base to build upon for the race.
Hmmm, lastly on a personal-life side of things:
1) I think that I can never do things the simple way, or rather my life has never been bout doing things simply, somehow I always have to complicate things, or there will always be extraneous factors complicating things, so its never clear-cut, I dunno what I would do for a simple clear-cut, no frills, straight-forward kinda r'ship. Not that I feel I am being owed one, but sometimes i realli feel that the chips just refuse to fall the right way
2) Sometimes the things I want are unattainable, and most of it is thru my un-doing. When I come to think of it, I am realy quite a complicated person and that has had an impact on who I am close to, or who I can get close to, whom I can develop close relationships with and who I can't. I realise that the moment ppl know me and the inner workings of me, they don't really like it so much and it pisses them off. Thus, most of my good r'ships going on now, are usually a result of me not being "fake" per se, but rather just withholding the nature of my complicated psyche.
But dont get me wrong people, its all good in the land of me. I am not depressed or whatsoever, having perused psychological literature for the past 5 years has taught me to use such terms for when they are really valid. I think all of us have things on our chest that we wish to get off, and well this is just one way, and these days my only way of doing it. I guess its not very appropriate when I figure that ppl may stumble on it, but you make what you want out of it. It's cool.
