Updates
Past few days have been a rush, had a whole day of soccer starting from the morning with the girls and then later watching the Singapore match at the stadium. overall it was a nice day, tiring but fulfilling I felt. Although I was travelling everywhere.
Also I caught a bit of Tyra banks show, and i dunno why but I always think that she is such a fake and tries to copy Oprah, u noe down to the set up, the things she talks about, the manner in which she speaks, the audience, etc. etc. Not much orginality. Then again I think its not realli her fault cos Oprah has set such an overwhelming standard that anybody after her will just be considered a poorer imitation. But still I think Tyra's show seems just too fake and she looks like shes trying too hard. perhaps its just an impression of her I have cos of her self-promoting ways in ANTM.
Other than dat, the results of the Os are coming closer and I am getting nervous, i guess just the prospect of losing somebody is realli scary, I thought I had put this to rest back in 2000-01 during my own results but well now its like evry year its like dat. Then again I signed up for this so just gotta bear with this. I guess I just dont like the uncertainty of everything.
Other than that my shoe has completely fallen apart, and I do not have any boots, not very good to start off with for coaching, so I better get some soon, waiting for the last few bux of my pay to come in first. I also realised that I am damn bad at asking for pay, and as a result ppl always take their own sweet time to pay me, cos I have not in 4 years now, asked anybody for payment yet, just wait and wait till they remember. maybe i should learn to be a bit more assertive when it comes to this.
Also, its been like coming to 3 weeks now and I have not broken my coaching resolution yet. I'm beginning to surprise myself. haha.
Oh and last but not least, there was an attempted break in at my neighbours place yesterday, and my dad, who was already super paranoid (we have 4 locks for our gate and door) , fixed up a security camera, haha. Also I noe who the culprits are well at least I noe where they are from, and the school is beginning to piss me off because they have no control over their students.
Out.
Stab
Been a while, and nowadays time seems to pass too fast for my comfort. Lately things have just been so confusing and frustrating. About the Viv thing, I realli feel like shit cos I think its realli my fault and I could have done more. I should have lar, it was my responsibility but I think I failed on dat and because of dat SHE has to suffer. I realise that when I make mistakes its alwyas usually big ones which are life changing and shit like dat. Crap. Mr Tan completely blew his top dat day and I was scared in his implusive mood he was gonna say something which was gonna be realli bad for the team, and he was almost there, but he later backtracked. Thank God. Sorry cant share the contents but it was well not the nicest of things.
Also, the D-DAy for the sec 4s is coming up soon, ok well still two weeks away, but I hate times like this when there is so much uncertainty, and I hate the fact that I may lose a player sooner than I think, which is always a bad thing. I think after last year's experience with Claudia and Shimin, I realli cannot fathom how I will feel should the same situation arise again. Shux i realli hope by some miracle nobody will leave. I am thankful for the players I already have, but I am always looking to newer additions to the family, especially the 6 who have trained wif us all this while, mon, freckles, Kuan Ren, Phy, Cel and Xiang Ling. I realli dunno how im gonna react should the worst happen. However, at the same time, I pray and hope evrythin will be ok and the worst will be avoided.
I also stumbled upon some things on a blog which was
COMPLETELY shocking, and for a moment, I felt realli demoralise and like stabbed in the back cos this person appeared to always be so nice to me. The first thing I wanted to do was pick up the phone, call the people and tell them wat I think.
BUT I just sat abck and absorbed it and try to take it in a good way, as hard as it may be. I have to always remind myself dat as a coach we are always in a position to be judged by all. I guess just the shock of things coming from your own player is something I am trying to deal wif. I realli dont mind criticism from other parties lar, i mean they are entitled to it, but when it comes from one of your own, shocking and quite depressing.
Nevrtheless I have taken it in good spirit and I must strive to understand dat you cannot be right 100% of the time, and dat eveyrbody is entitled to their own opinion.
But other than dat work is piling up and to make things worse i accidentally left my file and my tuition kid's place, and it has all the stuff dat i need for school. Shux, i think today I will just try and smoke thru lar, hope I can survive the 3 hours.
Alright dats all for now, term papers due soon and I haven even finished the readings. Shux.
Out.
Reading "it"
Today went to watch the Tiger Cup, or AFF Cup or whateva corny name they give it cup together wif beng and ben and mini, was realli nice and I guess the result was all in favour of us, though I had wished we had won the match.
Also managed to catch the repeat of american idol and as usual it was a blast, cant wait to catch tomorrows episode, wat wif all the weird people coming to audition, i tell u Americans, for all the things I hate that they stand for, come up with the best shit, and they realli exploit ppl to the core. Yah lar its quite bad, but I always end up laughing, almost choked on a bone when one of the buggers sang tonight. These opening episodes are always the best I find the singing in the later stages rather boring since Americans have a penchance of singing old songs or songs we in Singapore dont hear much about, then again Im not realli deep in terms of my music knowledge.
Its been a long while since I wrote a song, and I havent realli followed up on that amateur EP release I made back in 2003. 4 years on, my head is brimming with ideas but I have struggled to find the time to write or record any of them down. Been trying to sort out the riffs and shit, I think I should begin with writing down the basic strum and sing thingey first. Hmmmmm, plans and plans, but the time I need to find.
Also I observed one thing from reading the blogs of some of my female friends or even those I do not know so well but just stumbled upon. I realised a girl's mind is so darn complicated. SERIOUSLY. Super duper complicated. Even after 4 years I think I havent realli figured even 10% of wat Uni is thinking. Which is quite bad actually. Its just dat I realise girls are so different from guys, women different from men, and failure to appreciate it will certainly create unnecessary cock-ups. As a coach of a girls team, I realli find it hard to read wats going on, sometimes I just wish dat we were all guys, who are usually transparent and say what they wanna say when they wanna say it.
But then again, I signed up for this, and I have learnt that I will never be able to crack this cryptic mysterious code that is the woman's mind. BUT, and a big BUT, is dat at least I appreciate it for wat it is and I have no intention of changing it or trying to read it too deeply or shit like dat. I think at the end of the day things always sort themselves out. pros and cons as I always say, girls dont like guys who just mouth off wateva they think, and guys dont like girls who think too deeply into the things they (the guy) says. But it will always work out I believe.
See lar, even writing about the woman's mind makes me tired. LOL.
Out.
Why we fall
I am highly frustrated, with things around me, boring lectures, changes in CCA arrangements, development of the ppl i care for.
Crap, sometimes i wonder why i bother giving so much.
BUT.
I will be ok.
Why do we fall, Bruce?So we can learn how to get up again. -
Thomas Wayne, Batman BeginsI'll learn.Out.
Semangat
Im rushin and all, this week has been like the ubsiest in the longest time, but thing is I am actually on the way to finishing it well, and managed to do everything I need to do. Oh well almost, im heading over to the library to finish one more thing. Cant wait for tomorrow, I think have to go and run and destress tom.
Anyways, I feel that I am finally seein tangible team spirit, even Mini notices it and I think its realli brilliant, well done. Even more so than last season. Two of us have always been advocates of the fact that what sets the team apart is not the medals it has won, but the bonds that were formed, dats whats gonna keep you thru all the way. I mean not dat we won nothing, of cos we did, but as a team, 01-02 was damn united, team night, team day, makan night (every wed), semangat night (every friday), macritchie (every saturday). I miss those days but im comforted by the fact that I managed to experience them and also by the fact that the team im training now is slowly but surely achieving that state of "brother/sisterhood" where every player would just give her best for everyone else, and where everybody puts the team ahead of themselves.
On the way on the way.
Out.
Ben Ben
Yesterday Ben's dad had a stroke and had to be admitted to ICU. But Ben still turned up cos he realli wanted to play wif us since he wouldnt have many opportunities cos he has to leave onn the 21st of Jan. He rushed immediately back to the hospital thereafter.
Ben is realli an incredible guy and one of those who hasnt changed ince he went to Uni, in fact most of the people I was close to in the junior batch havent although some have, which irks me cos they seem to more arrogant and brash nowadays. But realli I couldnt care less.
Back to Ben, he is one solid guy, from the moment he stepped in VJ, he wasnt even able to kick the ball properly but he never gave up and that was what striked me about Ben, one of the most reliable people around.
All the best with your dad Ben, I hope he gets well soon.
Out.
