Looking for a light

Yesterdae I had perhaps the worst game in my life. I think I'm realli beginning to hate life at Maju. I don't deny that there's a great bunch of people out there, but I just disagree wif some things that happen over there.

Yesterdae, at half-time, Ting singled out a few of us and claimed that we were "playing amongst ourselves".

I mean seriously does he thnk he was talking to a bunch of kids? We had been playing soccer for so long, as individuals, in teams, and here he was accusing us of trying to be selfish. I was exteremly disappointed wif what he said, and I couldn't get it out of my mind in the second half and kept thinkin if we were doing so. I bet dat thought didnt even cross most of our minds till he said it. And Ting even played himself at centreback, and to be honest I think it was a pathetic game. The line was far from controlled, and when u think about it, RP scored with perhaps the only chances they had in the game. Ting kept wanting to take it all on his own, be captain marvel, ever so often breaking the line just to go up and attack.

I played a wretched game, and missed a sitter or two. As I told Jerrard yesterdae, I realli am disillusioned by the whole thing, I mean I do care about Maju hell of a lot, but the roller-coaster of emotions that I'm going thru is too much. Is this all worth it?

Anyways on a brighter note, Damu, Jerrard and Terence gave me some consoling words lar, and I realli appreciate it. I realli admire how much more drive and determination they have. And belief! Which I sorely lack now, and is realli making me very disappointed in myself. But as things stand right now, I'm still not sure if all this is worth it. Its just taking too much outta me, that I can stand.