Note to self
Sry just a moment of catharsis from me.Why do all of them just insist on letting you down? You think at times there is really no point giving your heart away if everytime all you are doing is setting yourself up for failure, for disappointment, for resentment, for despair, helplessness, a myriad of negative emotions that you cannot even to label but only feel and realise that it exists because you wake up each morning feeling like taking your heart out, giving it a nice clean scrub and forgetting it was ever damaged.
Why do they always think that they are the only ones whose heart was hurt, that everything that has, is and will transpire somehow only happened to them and that they didn't deserve it. Then again who does? Surely you don't as well.
Somehow, after 26 years you would have think that meandering through matters like this would make you more hardened, more seasoned and less susceptible at being hurt. But at the end of the day you are still that same vulnerable young boy who gets his heart cut deep. Its always like that.
So now you're faced with 2 choices.
1) You carry on, getting yourself into things that will keep hurting, you don't forget, and you embrace everything that comes your way, you love, you hurt, you laugh and you cry, you live each day not knowing how high or low it might take you
2) You don't think about it,and you decide to leave it all behind, your lonely, you don't have companionship and kinship, someone to share a life with, BUT you know that nobody can hurt but yourself and that will be the best bet at staying happy
The choice is yours, but just remember that everytime you feel happy, you are just a step away from losing it all and coming out of it with nothing.
They don't get it don't they? You're not perfect but neither are they?
But its always your fault, and your burden to carry.
Out.
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