Looking for a light

Stab

Been a while, and nowadays time seems to pass too fast for my comfort. Lately things have just been so confusing and frustrating. About the Viv thing, I realli feel like shit cos I think its realli my fault and I could have done more. I should have lar, it was my responsibility but I think I failed on dat and because of dat SHE has to suffer. I realise that when I make mistakes its alwyas usually big ones which are life changing and shit like dat. Crap. Mr Tan completely blew his top dat day and I was scared in his implusive mood he was gonna say something which was gonna be realli bad for the team, and he was almost there, but he later backtracked. Thank God. Sorry cant share the contents but it was well not the nicest of things.

Also, the D-DAy for the sec 4s is coming up soon, ok well still two weeks away, but I hate times like this when there is so much uncertainty, and I hate the fact that I may lose a player sooner than I think, which is always a bad thing. I think after last year's experience with Claudia and Shimin, I realli cannot fathom how I will feel should the same situation arise again. Shux i realli hope by some miracle nobody will leave. I am thankful for the players I already have, but I am always looking to newer additions to the family, especially the 6 who have trained wif us all this while, mon, freckles, Kuan Ren, Phy, Cel and Xiang Ling. I realli dunno how im gonna react should the worst happen. However, at the same time, I pray and hope evrythin will be ok and the worst will be avoided.

I also stumbled upon some things on a blog which was COMPLETELY shocking, and for a moment, I felt realli demoralise and like stabbed in the back cos this person appeared to always be so nice to me. The first thing I wanted to do was pick up the phone, call the people and tell them wat I think.

BUT I just sat abck and absorbed it and try to take it in a good way, as hard as it may be. I have to always remind myself dat as a coach we are always in a position to be judged by all. I guess just the shock of things coming from your own player is something I am trying to deal wif. I realli dont mind criticism from other parties lar, i mean they are entitled to it, but when it comes from one of your own, shocking and quite depressing.

Nevrtheless I have taken it in good spirit and I must strive to understand dat you cannot be right 100% of the time, and dat eveyrbody is entitled to their own opinion.

But other than dat work is piling up and to make things worse i accidentally left my file and my tuition kid's place, and it has all the stuff dat i need for school. Shux, i think today I will just try and smoke thru lar, hope I can survive the 3 hours.

Alright dats all for now, term papers due soon and I haven even finished the readings. Shux.

Out.

posted by Me @ 12:25 PM