Looking for a light

The Morning After

I hate trying to sleep after a man u loss. And I am officially not going to Burswood to watch anymore soccer, my record there has been abysmal, so I am just gonna stream stuff or go to Alex's place for cable if worse come to worse.

Honestly though, we din deserve anything out of that match, maybe even a draw would have been too kind for us. I dunno, I am just trying to be realistic. But its pretty much true.

There used to be a time when I saw man u lose, and I consoled myself by telling myself that at least it wasn't VJSG who was losing, and it worked realli well. But now that that part of life is gone, its much harder to deal with it in dat sense. Although I would say I don't really take it as hard. Perhaps I guess at least in reference to yesterday, there were other more pressing issues that were making me more upset.

So i slept at about 1130pm, and woke up today at about 10 plus. Not bad lar, almost 12 hours. Today theres gonna be a soccer friendly later and then I am gonna spend most of today doing work I guess, nothing much else there is to it.

I guess on a bright side of things, running this week has been better, I hope it will get better, but it was good this week, getting a rhythm, and covering about 54km throughout the week. I guess the key will be to just hold this so that by the end of the month I would be have covered 60-65 in one week, which would be a good base to build upon for the race.

Hmmm, lastly on a personal-life side of things:

1) I think that I can never do things the simple way, or rather my life has never been bout doing things simply, somehow I always have to complicate things, or there will always be extraneous factors complicating things, so its never clear-cut, I dunno what I would do for a simple clear-cut, no frills, straight-forward kinda r'ship. Not that I feel I am being owed one, but sometimes i realli feel that the chips just refuse to fall the right way

2) Sometimes the things I want are unattainable, and most of it is thru my un-doing. When I come to think of it, I am realy quite a complicated person and that has had an impact on who I am close to, or who I can get close to, whom I can develop close relationships with and who I can't. I realise that the moment ppl know me and the inner workings of me, they don't really like it so much and it pisses them off. Thus, most of my good r'ships going on now, are usually a result of me not being "fake" per se, but rather just withholding the nature of my complicated psyche.

But dont get me wrong people, its all good in the land of me. I am not depressed or whatsoever, having perused psychological literature for the past 5 years has taught me to use such terms for when they are really valid. I think all of us have things on our chest that we wish to get off, and well this is just one way, and these days my only way of doing it. I guess its not very appropriate when I figure that ppl may stumble on it, but you make what you want out of it. It's cool.

Out.

posted by Me @ 11:14 AM