Looking for a light

Today is the last day of Ramadhan, and I know this may sound weird, but this is the first yearI'm actually sad that the fasting month is ending. Sure, some of u may think why the hell I wuld enjoy not eating or drinking for a month...but well, as I mentioned much earlier in the month, Ramadhan has come across to me this year, as more than just not eating and drinking...bt well its the other things like prayer, devotion and supplication. Sure, I'm stil as foul-mouthed and coarsed as ever(oops...) but there are many things this month that I've learnt about which I can carry along in life.

Yest was the last night prayer session, cos technically tonight, in about 7 hours, it will be Hari Raya already, so there'll be no night prayers. I thought the imam was realli good yest, and even though I was slightly distracted at the start cos I was a bit tired, my heart realli opened up at the end, as I began to comprehend the gravity and significance of the whole occasion. I was shedding tears towards the end of the prayer, for I realli felt what the imam said. I rem him saying that it was very hard to shed tears for God. We can cry cos of getting fired, we can cry cos of a stupid movie, cry when we win a championship, or cry when we fail our exams....but rarely do we cry cos of God. Which I think was realli true for me.

So to a certain sense, even though my specs were wet, and I had trouble trying to wipe off the tears,I felt it was all worth it, cos at the end of yest, the end of one month, I truly knew what itw as to be a muslim. Took me 20 years, but better late than never. I noe this sounds bloody dram but I assure u it is true, I wouldnt be over-dramatising stuff related to religion trust me.

As I made my last round of handshakes wif the congregation, I took my time to look at evryboy's face and try and remember it. Cos, I never know if all of us will be back here in a years' time. Some may have moved away, some may have passed on, in fact I cant say for myself if i will be there as much as I want to. But all those nights of prayer laughing at the imam's hilarious tales and crying during the more sober parts, realli brought all of us strangers closer to each other. And well I guess dats the beauty of religion realli, any religion, cos it brings ppl together.

Yes, I noe. LOL.

In a few hours it will be Hari Raya again, haha, as I said to Phil on Raya, u realli eat like shit, if youre gonna go 5 houses you are gonna eat 5 full meals, whether u like it or not,free flow of gassy drinks, soto, lontong, rendang, satay.....

Today we just got back from cleanin up the graves in Lim Chu Kang Cemetery. I always find going there a sobering experience, cos it helps remind us of death. Sometimes, ppl, myself included, think they will live forever. Haha. Just a doseof reality.

It went fine lar, I'm dead tired, and the weather was hot, but I had a good time, me and my dad hope to set up a shuttle transport business in the cemetery someday and all haha, my dad is damn funny lar he, forever jokin.

Anyways enough for now, been finding it hard to blog as regularly, cos busy and stuff, but once next week comes should be ok. Wanna give a big thank-you to jeremy for lending me his PS2, I have been busy playing bro, and its kept me occupied, haha. Thank you so much. Maju is at 3 today, then it'll be dinner wif Uni, our first date in one month since Ramadhan started.