Looking for a light

Lately I've been a really confused guy, about Maju. On one hand, I enjoy the company, the ppl (well most of them), but well theres just something unsettling me and has been usnettling me for the past 3 weeks. Recap.

Pissed off like shit with the dedication of ppl in futsal, realli sad dat ppl dont wanna give 100%, either dat or their 100% is really CMI. Walked away pissed off.

Couldnt find my jersey, heard training was at 3, and coach was pissd even though he assumed and infd no one. Din even bother to come cos dont wanna see him.

Lost first match of Futsal(very unluckily i must say) and to make it worse, a good striker, due to some technicality. Fucked up. Walked away and din go to kick ball thereafter.

This coming week I have matriculation so prob wont be going for Maju, funny thing is, Im begining to feel less and less disappointed that I'm not turning up. I dunno why. Then again, I think I do. I realli feel that I haven done anything productive in almost a year at Maju, and wasting my time away. Of cos there are the perks like going out with Jerrard, and getting to meet regularly wif my RI frends, but wats more than dat? Any pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? All i feel is disappoinment. Disappointed at the stagnation of the club. Disappointed at the coach having diff standards for diff ppl. Disappointed at the lack of commitment. Most of all, disappointed in myself for inculcating all these bad qualities which I never wanted to have. I'm now bitter, angsty and stuck up. Which I dont wanna be at all.

On go to a better topic, the past 2 weeks have been spent watching bball during lunch. Some of the schools are not bad, esp the boys, who displayed some good movement last week. The girls have been ok, of cos Phil is there to watch Cheryl and Gilbert to watch Peiqi, haha for mejust go and enjoy lar, cant deny I dont like watchin girls playing sports, haha judging by my 3-week stint watching smu floorball where my dear uni almost almost scored!!! Sigh....almost. But its ok, I'm proud watchin her play. Anyways the bball has at times been god, there was a day when a girl did an on-the-move-marked-by-two-players-behind-the-back-dribble, which was amazing!! The SAC pointguard also has superb tenacity! Something Im seeing more and more in girls nowadays, ok not really, more so in smu floorball lar, must say that sport is a bloodsport, sometimes im grateful Uni doesnt play much, who noes what those ppl might do to her!

Anyways the last match is tom, and it will be the last afternoon me bert and phil will be spendnig watchin bball there i think. Its sad, not cos of the bball, not cos got no cheryl or peiqi for phil and bert to watch respectively, but cos these days will be long gone, and 3 of us wont be able to meet anymore.I guess its at this kinda times when life just goes by, and u realise your not getting any younger.