Looking for a light

Being a Friend

I was talking to dawn yest about some problems of the heart that she had, and I just realised how weird the mechanics of such conditions are. On one hand, here you are, trying to help the person, but on the other, nothing much can be done and you might make the perosn feel worse about stuff, in the process of helping him/her. I felt realli weird cos at times I wasnt sure if wat I said was the right thing, and whether it helped. Oh well, I think ppl always say that at the end of the day, its not really wat u say or anything, but rather just being there is more than enough. Hmm, I guess so. Things always have a funny way of working out I guess.

The Way I am

I realise that my desire to win has always been my greatest strength and greatest weakness. Often ppl tell me, "Eh Az, relaxing, its just a game." Well yes, I am aware of dat. But somehow as I told some guys the other day, no matter how many times I lose, whenever it happens it just sux lar. Actually Im an OK loser. Honestly, sometimes if me/the team plays well then Im ok if we lose to a better team. But when we lose cos of our own/my stupid mistakes I tend to get a little frustrated. Oh well. I guess its just the way I am and as much as I want to chnage it I realsie that on the other hand, this overwhelming desire to win and push myself is wat keeps me going and has allowed me to achieve stuff which I would have never seen myself reach a while ago. In a way it sets me apart cos like I have always maintained as the captain ni VJ, I wasnt oustanding in anything except fopr my desire to win, which I infected the rest of the team wif. Oh well enough about me, I hope anybody who reads this can understand me better.